bob_dobalina

i haven't seen her in almost six months and she called me on friday night. somehow sensing the grandiose degree of loserdom that i've achieved since she left me for big shoulders, it was all too obvious that i was at home on friday night, alone. she's been in town for a week and change and will be leaving in few days but would like to stop by and see me before her departure. dare i refuse her, this person who still holds my emotions and digestion in flux? we bullshitted and i tried to imagine that i could still possess and seduce her just by speaking. she had to go, again, and i was left in my room, alone, again, with a new thought. just how long would it be before i had to speak to another person. i have nothing to offer, no insights to share.
i was in the bathroom, sitting on the throne, happy to be sitting and shitting rather than sitting in front of a computer in my office surrounded by meaningless conversation and wasted paper. she left a message for me, saying that she'll be in my neighborhood this evening and would like to stop by. dare i pretend to be sitting and shitting the next time she calls? the voices in my head are echoing off my skull, i can feel the co-workers in my office listening in on my thoughts like the news media broadcasting parliamentary proceedings.
i feel like i've violated pharoah's tomb and have been cursed for my trespass. but the burden of this curse is one that has memories of passion and joy.