my 10 year high school reunion is just around the corner and after much debate i've decided to attend and see a few people i want to see and dodge others i could care less about. they've set up this website where all the alumni write in and let everyone know how super their lives are. it is shocking to see how many people are married and have multiple offspring.
since i went to a super nerd school, just about everyone is a doctor of some sort or doing something righteous to save the world or make loads of money. never one to be out shined, here's my contribution to my high school alumni web site:
following graduation from pomona college i was caught in a bureau of alcohol tobacco and firearms sting while attempting to sell counterfeit ak-47s to suge knight. i ended up serving time at the california state prison in pelican bay for the illegal trafficing and attempted sale of assault weapons. while in prison i started a correspondance via mail with a lovely young lady. three months prior to my release, the two of were joined in a brief ceremony under the watchful eye of prison warden benjamin (aka "ben") dover. after serving my sentance i landed a job working in the san fernando valley's porn industry. while on the job in vegas i managed to lose my bankroll and inheritance at the golden nugget's craps tables. broke and penniless, my wife left me for a former cell mate of mine, a member of the hells angels biker gang that was doing time for methamphetamines. i found redemption while having sex with a hooker in a port-a-potty in downtown los angeles in the shape of a pamphlet about the church of scientology. thanks to the teachings of mr. l. ron hubbard i am back on my feet and a contributing member of society as part of tom cruise's entourage.
in reality all of that is entirely false. except for that part about porn. hey, it's what pays the bills.
since i went to a super nerd school, just about everyone is a doctor of some sort or doing something righteous to save the world or make loads of money. never one to be out shined, here's my contribution to my high school alumni web site:
following graduation from pomona college i was caught in a bureau of alcohol tobacco and firearms sting while attempting to sell counterfeit ak-47s to suge knight. i ended up serving time at the california state prison in pelican bay for the illegal trafficing and attempted sale of assault weapons. while in prison i started a correspondance via mail with a lovely young lady. three months prior to my release, the two of were joined in a brief ceremony under the watchful eye of prison warden benjamin (aka "ben") dover. after serving my sentance i landed a job working in the san fernando valley's porn industry. while on the job in vegas i managed to lose my bankroll and inheritance at the golden nugget's craps tables. broke and penniless, my wife left me for a former cell mate of mine, a member of the hells angels biker gang that was doing time for methamphetamines. i found redemption while having sex with a hooker in a port-a-potty in downtown los angeles in the shape of a pamphlet about the church of scientology. thanks to the teachings of mr. l. ron hubbard i am back on my feet and a contributing member of society as part of tom cruise's entourage.
in reality all of that is entirely false. except for that part about porn. hey, it's what pays the bills.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
the path of security is all the path of a boring life.
The new Impreza, big diff down low. In 5th on the highway, no downshifting to pass. I can see mod potential for those that do that kinda stuff.
From your earlier entry, whatcha gonna do if you get on out of porn? (Although I don't think any male ever gets outta porn) Hey, maybe I'm wrong here, maybe you totally see it differently now. Maybe working in hte industry kinda shook it for you and you'll never be able to rent a DP flick with your S.O.? How does working in it change it for you? I'm way interested.