Ever wonder if your mood goes in cycles, like you'll have maybe three bad days in a row a month and then all of a sudden you just feel better for no discernable reason at all?
This week's been like that.
* I'm still bummed about my dad being in intensive care down in Los Angeles. It's kind of like a shadow that I can't shake.
* I'm still bummed that my work ethic sucks lately. It's hard for me to put any meaningful time into working on my market research software. But I am starting to feel like it's a more intolerable situation not to work on it, and that's kind of good.
* I'm still bummed that we're about $20,000 in debt to tax man. Maybe working on the website will help cure that.
* I'm still bummed that it's so hard to get a vegetarian meal when going to restaurants. So many places are all about using meat and cheese as an entre to cover up their flavorless food. I'm not looking for anything special, just a meal minus the meat and cheese.
* I'm still bummed that it's hot. Sometime soon it'll cool down though, I'm sure of it.
* I'm still bummed that I pretty much gave up caffeine. Caffeine in moderation has been a fantastic companion over the past couple of years, and I feel unnaturally dumb without it. It's for the best though.
* I'm still bummed at civilization in general, like that we spend more money as a culture on destroying things then we do on medical research. It sure would be nice to drink all the coffee we want and live forever. But apparently it's more fun to tell people to shut the fuck up or they'll get the fist.
* I'm stil bummed that I can't decide whether to be a hero or a villain. To be perfectly honest, a hero's ideals seem out of touch with reality, and villains seem pragmatic. I always kind of enjoy when a villain taunts a hero in movies about their ideals, "Why do you do this? Love for your fellow man? Do you think these strangers would give a shit about you? They're sheep!" But that doesn't feel right emotionally, so I'm uncomfortably stuck somewhere inbetween.
And in spite of all this pettiness, it's like things are starting to look up, like suddenly the weird rocker guy in the parking lot with his four grocery bags full of breakfast cereal doesn't tick me off. That's cool. I wonder.
This week's been like that.
* I'm still bummed about my dad being in intensive care down in Los Angeles. It's kind of like a shadow that I can't shake.
* I'm still bummed that my work ethic sucks lately. It's hard for me to put any meaningful time into working on my market research software. But I am starting to feel like it's a more intolerable situation not to work on it, and that's kind of good.
* I'm still bummed that we're about $20,000 in debt to tax man. Maybe working on the website will help cure that.
* I'm still bummed that it's so hard to get a vegetarian meal when going to restaurants. So many places are all about using meat and cheese as an entre to cover up their flavorless food. I'm not looking for anything special, just a meal minus the meat and cheese.
* I'm still bummed that it's hot. Sometime soon it'll cool down though, I'm sure of it.
* I'm still bummed that I pretty much gave up caffeine. Caffeine in moderation has been a fantastic companion over the past couple of years, and I feel unnaturally dumb without it. It's for the best though.
* I'm still bummed at civilization in general, like that we spend more money as a culture on destroying things then we do on medical research. It sure would be nice to drink all the coffee we want and live forever. But apparently it's more fun to tell people to shut the fuck up or they'll get the fist.
* I'm stil bummed that I can't decide whether to be a hero or a villain. To be perfectly honest, a hero's ideals seem out of touch with reality, and villains seem pragmatic. I always kind of enjoy when a villain taunts a hero in movies about their ideals, "Why do you do this? Love for your fellow man? Do you think these strangers would give a shit about you? They're sheep!" But that doesn't feel right emotionally, so I'm uncomfortably stuck somewhere inbetween.
And in spite of all this pettiness, it's like things are starting to look up, like suddenly the weird rocker guy in the parking lot with his four grocery bags full of breakfast cereal doesn't tick me off. That's cool. I wonder.
And well, no, I havent found anywhere permanent. But I am thinking about Portland.
I'm stil bummed that I can't decide whether to be a hero or a villain.
Play them both and see which you enjoy the most. Then you'll have your answer.