Being grown adults with responsibilities and apartments and all that, you're likely familiar with the friend in trouble situation, right? Where something horrible happens to them, just blood-curdling shit, like an abusive boyfriend or a violent roommate or something. They're practically weeping and you care for them, so you invite them to stay with you for a few weeks so they can get their shit together and find a new place to live. That's the understanding between you two and you both believe it. There's no deception involved.
But you know how it turns out right? Six months fly by and they're acting irresponsibly. They haven't found a new job, maybe they even quit the one they had; they haven't found an apartment; they haven't gotten their car fixed; they spend all their money on going to the movies or hanging out at clubs or something. Congratulations, they're now a fucking idiot, and you're being taken advantage of. Eventually you change the locks while they're not home.
Friendship ruined.
Over time, I've realized that the best thing you can do to help someone out is to be sympathetic, but to not actually help. Even when they're on a hospital bed, asking you if they can sleep on your couch for a week, you've got to be an asshole. Say no or make an excuse. Otherwise, they're going to turn into someone they don't want to be. It's amazing how normal, adjusted, hard-working people lose 50 IQ points a few days after some of their responsibilities have been lifted. That pressure has to remain or they're going to flake.
So I'm a liberal, caring guy, but it just occured to me, that maybe it's the government's job to make our lives just difficult enough for us to keep our shit together. If we're miserable and stressed out, we can get a handle on our problems and work for a better situation, better for everyone in the community. But if we're bailed out in the middle of that crisis period, we act like morons. Maybe social safety nets like welfare, unemployment, and disability make it harder for us to be responsible for ourselves.
It's an interesting idea. I wonder how true it is.
But you know how it turns out right? Six months fly by and they're acting irresponsibly. They haven't found a new job, maybe they even quit the one they had; they haven't found an apartment; they haven't gotten their car fixed; they spend all their money on going to the movies or hanging out at clubs or something. Congratulations, they're now a fucking idiot, and you're being taken advantage of. Eventually you change the locks while they're not home.
Friendship ruined.
Over time, I've realized that the best thing you can do to help someone out is to be sympathetic, but to not actually help. Even when they're on a hospital bed, asking you if they can sleep on your couch for a week, you've got to be an asshole. Say no or make an excuse. Otherwise, they're going to turn into someone they don't want to be. It's amazing how normal, adjusted, hard-working people lose 50 IQ points a few days after some of their responsibilities have been lifted. That pressure has to remain or they're going to flake.
So I'm a liberal, caring guy, but it just occured to me, that maybe it's the government's job to make our lives just difficult enough for us to keep our shit together. If we're miserable and stressed out, we can get a handle on our problems and work for a better situation, better for everyone in the community. But if we're bailed out in the middle of that crisis period, we act like morons. Maybe social safety nets like welfare, unemployment, and disability make it harder for us to be responsible for ourselves.
It's an interesting idea. I wonder how true it is.
it_thing_hard_on:
I can get behind that, yeah. And what's more, you posit an interesting theory. Food for thought, my favorite dinner. 
strongmad:
Fine, I'll sleep in my car. Dick.
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