I'm not very enthusiastic about death, but I'm certainly not interested in life at this point either.
I want to just stop trying. All efforts so far have just dug my hole deeper.
I see all these ugly, dumb, happy people and I start jumping through these logical hoops. Well, if person X can find love and be happy and find employment and I can't,...
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I want to just stop trying. All efforts so far have just dug my hole deeper.
I see all these ugly, dumb, happy people and I start jumping through these logical hoops. Well, if person X can find love and be happy and find employment and I can't,...
Read More
Mondays start the shitfest all over again.
Yay!
Yay!
bipolar_bear:
If you're not a sailor then you don't need to swim. Paddling is just as fun anyways. Depression eh? I know that one rather well myself.
I'm considering running for office in 2010.
As a write in.
Or something.
I don't know. I may start a blog and try to spread word of mouth or something. But I don't have the people and resources for that, I think. Hrmm... I'm not sure.
As a write in.
Or something.
I don't know. I may start a blog and try to spread word of mouth or something. But I don't have the people and resources for that, I think. Hrmm... I'm not sure.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
robotlola:
my first credit card statement states otherwise 
canuhandlethis:
You have beautiful blue eyes 
Hrmm....
I put on 5 or 6 pounds this week.
I think I'd like to lose that. Typically I eat one meal a day, and then fast one day of the week. This week I ate junk, twice a day each day and didn't fast.
Edit:
EPIPHANY:
Life is terrifying!
I put on 5 or 6 pounds this week.
I think I'd like to lose that. Typically I eat one meal a day, and then fast one day of the week. This week I ate junk, twice a day each day and didn't fast.
Edit:
EPIPHANY:
Life is terrifying!
girl_afraid:
all the nice girls are, too, hiding under rocks. it seems like everytime i come out for air, i get fucked over. i wish more nice boys would come out and play when i am around.
robotlola:
EPIPHANY!
Life is terrifying, until you make it your bitch.
Life is terrifying, until you make it your bitch.
I don't believe in 'rock bottom.'
To suggest there's a lowest point that can be reached just seems wrong. There are tons of different lowest points, and just when you think you've hit the absolute worst the floor caves in, and you fall some more.
There are different rooms to it, too. What's worse: the blatant depressive nervous breakdowns that are returning to me, or...
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To suggest there's a lowest point that can be reached just seems wrong. There are tons of different lowest points, and just when you think you've hit the absolute worst the floor caves in, and you fall some more.
There are different rooms to it, too. What's worse: the blatant depressive nervous breakdowns that are returning to me, or...
Read More
girl_afraid:
i think there are all different degrees and types of "rock bottoms" that it is impossible to declare which is worse.
i hope that you're feeling better, kiddo. know that i care about you, and one day the sun will shine again (as trite as that sounds).
i hope that you're feeling better, kiddo. know that i care about you, and one day the sun will shine again (as trite as that sounds).
cerephinna:
there are different lows, after a bad patch i think 'i'll never hit that low again', and then i go lower.
Drinking will make things worse, it's a depressant x x please take care of yourself x x x
Drinking will make things worse, it's a depressant x x please take care of yourself x x x
God damnit, I'm in existential crisis mode again. I wasted the best years of my life, cowering in post-childhood abuse insecurity and all these self image issues and now I'm fucked.
There's nothing left. I have nothing to look forward to now besides being ground up in the machine that is life. I'm living day by day again, and I know that there's no incentive...
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There's nothing left. I have nothing to look forward to now besides being ground up in the machine that is life. I'm living day by day again, and I know that there's no incentive...
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ladylovelybrit:
'misunderstanding and a difference in experience', omg its like you just said exactly what has just happened to me.....
Life is so dull.
I kind of want to jump ship.
I kind of want to jump ship.
ladylovelybrit:
well, i have some extra floaties, just in case you'd like to swim after you jump.
ladylovelybrit:
well, just remember there always there.
He doesn't love it anymore.
He told me it was all just ghosts and lies.
He told me it was all just ghosts and lies.
I was behind a Christian on the road today. Bumper sticker said "And Ye Be Born Again" or something along those lines, in second person, refering to the reader (me). I thought that'd be great, and I wished religion wasn't such the rallying cry it is these days. The sheer nonsense that provokes the agression it does now.
The concept of being part of something...
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The concept of being part of something...
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ladylovelybrit:
agreed.
ladylovelybrit:
I always second guess myself....its a vicious cycle.....
Winter always feels so hopeless.
The cold makes me want to shut down and sleep all the time, and the darkness revives old issues that I thought were resolved, and digs up old haunting memories.
The cold makes me want to shut down and sleep all the time, and the darkness revives old issues that I thought were resolved, and digs up old haunting memories.
girl_afraid:
i agree. feel better though, hon. 
ladylovelybrit:
I too agree, I feel so depressed I am taking a break, to cuddle in my bed and dream of a better me, I hope you feel better soon....
Each night is its own little trip now. Through a simple blend of herbal supplements and over the counter allergy medications, I've managed to create a kind of ever-lasting euphoria.
I've found chemical bliss, and it's delightful.
Today I woke up early to cut my hair. It didn't turn out so well. Pictures tomorrow, maybe. I wanted to try to cut short, and then I...
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I've found chemical bliss, and it's delightful.
Today I woke up early to cut my hair. It didn't turn out so well. Pictures tomorrow, maybe. I wanted to try to cut short, and then I...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
robotlola:
comments always make you feel good. i make an effort to try and comment when i have anything to say, or just want to make that person feel good
Keep away from logical hoops....the older you get the more logic gets thrown out the window!
Hope things get easier for you soon.