My friend Beth is having a party and I told I'd go.. I'm feeling anxiety though. Fuck why can't I just be around people like normal human beings without freaking the fuck out. I'm sure it will be fine but I don't want to hear people ask why I'm quiet or hear comments about it.. it's annoying. Fuck I don't talk to anyone and everyone...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
bahbahblacksheep:
you're quiet when you're drunk? somehow i don't believe that.
blueleftshoe:
well it varies sometimes I'm a quiet drunk sometimes I'm not... I'm not any more outgoing that I would really be otherwise.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
blueleftshoe:
oh yeah that does sort of suck rude people truth is though in public I'd rather be left alone and not spoken too all that much. I get lost in my thoughts and just sort of like to stay there. I like connection with people but I don't like connecting with most people. I get lonely but I require a lot of alone time so I guess I have contradictions.
I would say I miss being in a relationship but fuck most of mine have been crappy so I guess you can't miss something you never have. I sort of desire to have a relationship with someone I can be best friends with that sound pleasant.
I would say I miss being in a relationship but fuck most of mine have been crappy so I guess you can't miss something you never have. I sort of desire to have a relationship with someone I can be best friends with that sound pleasant.
bahbahblacksheep:
yeah, but that doesn't sound so great to the first best friend. replacement my ass. 
Am I the only one that finds it weird and creepy when people try to initiate cyber sex or whatever you want to call it. I'm thinking this is one of the reasons I try not to talk to too many people on the net. I always feel obliged to reply but I'm not going to pretend to get it on with someone I don't...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
blueleftshoe:
well just go on some creepy web site i'm sure they will.
bahbahblacksheep:
nah, they don't meet my standards.
I'm sort of dreading trying to sleep. I have a feeling it's either going to be a sleepless night or more bad dreams. I can't remember the last time I dreamt something nice and sweat. Instead there is just terror anxiety and death in my dreams nothing much pleasant especially when it' s been the past month. I need to find a new book to...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
blueleftshoe:
eh someone has to be weird right
bahbahblacksheep:
oh of course. you're the master of weirdness. 
IT's a cold depressing day. I'm trying to cook without really knowing what I'm making. I'm starting to amass a nice collection of tea since I got two more yesterday but they were on sale i got a lemon ginger and a green tea jasmin.
I went out earlier but the stores were crowded must be that christmas shoping anyways it was making my anxiety...
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I went out earlier but the stores were crowded must be that christmas shoping anyways it was making my anxiety...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
blueleftshoe:
I've been on a tea phase because I'm trying to cut down on caffeine. I love oolong as well but I don't think I have any right now.
bahbahblacksheep:
whoa, holy shit. haha.
Maybe I'm an ass but I won't tolerate people not treating me like they expect to be treated themselves. If you want to be stupid and over sensitive to everything said find but make sure you don't say anything remotely offensive to me without expecting me to call you out on that shit. Don't get pissy because I didn't hang out when I had plans...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
blueleftshoe:
i'[m drunk
bahbahblacksheep:
ha. i'm coming on aim then. you're usually funny when drunk.
bahbahblacksheep:
goddamnit! i missed the drunkedness. you're usually funny. unless you're not. well, 'cause then you're not.
i think i'm the only person alive that didn't enjoy elf. i'm not fond of will ferrell, though.
i think i'm the only person alive that didn't enjoy elf. i'm not fond of will ferrell, though.
bahbahblacksheep:
ok, that comment up there ^ really didn't make sense. ignore me.
Jamie OMGzzXcore (12:50:50 AM): my uncle had a good theory about it too
Jamie OMGzzXcore (12:50:55 AM): shoot everyone and no one will fuck with you
Blueleftshoe (12:51:28 AM): i dont want to shoot anyone
Blueleftshoe (12:51:41 AM): i just want to avoid them or curse them
Blueleftshoe (12:52:29 AM): i say no one in ohio anyways is worht a damn i'd like to move...
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Jamie OMGzzXcore (12:50:55 AM): shoot everyone and no one will fuck with you
Blueleftshoe (12:51:28 AM): i dont want to shoot anyone
Blueleftshoe (12:51:41 AM): i just want to avoid them or curse them
Blueleftshoe (12:52:29 AM): i say no one in ohio anyways is worht a damn i'd like to move...
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bahbahblacksheep:
that picture is sick! (i shouldn't have laughed at it though)
i say to hell with the kid. she doesn't know a damn thing. she lives at home with her mommy, no? yeah, i thought so. let her be spit out into this world as we were and then check back on her and see what her view on life and others is then. kids.
i say to hell with the kid. she doesn't know a damn thing. she lives at home with her mommy, no? yeah, i thought so. let her be spit out into this world as we were and then check back on her and see what her view on life and others is then. kids.
deny:
Whoa... That sounds rude!! Why do people say things just to try to hurt other people??
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
bahbahblacksheep:
i can't edit that comment above now.
i just hate when people say things like that about themselves or their pictures. that is all.
i just hate when people say things like that about themselves or their pictures. that is all.
blueleftshoe:
oh don't worry about it i'm not feeling sorry for myself or wanting pity. I just don't care to look at myself I'm not attractive looking so I dont want to see it.