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blueleftshoe

Elyria

Member Since 2004

Followers 82 Following 109

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Tuesday Nov 25, 2008

Nov 25, 2008
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The holiday season is now upon me and well perhaps a lot of other people as well but I live in a world that only involves me. I'm cooking my first Thanksgiving dinner this year for my mom, sister and Laura. I am a tab bit nervous about it but i've been watching a lot of food network so I believe that I am prepared for it all. I only had to work on monday this week so I've been just getting ready for things today as well as being lazy. I got some candy cane hershey kisses that are pretty damn good I never had them before. Tomorrow I have some more cleaning to do and getting ready for cooking... i might get a bottle of wine too all this time off is relaxing but i don't have a lot to do for once i'm not use to having as much free time. Laura has to work then she's going to church I guess. After Thanksgiving I'm going down to Georgia with my mom and laura for my cousin's wedding which will be nice getting away from the cold and snow sounds nice.

I've had a lot on my mind the last few weeks or month which I have been trying to avoid but i can't. After a discussion with Laura we've decided that after the holidays we're going to split. It sucks but what it comes down to is we want different things I want a family and she doesn't. There are other differences which I've dealt with but there becomes a point when you realize that it's just not going to work. She talked about waiting until our year mark but i don't know it seems i don't know strange to me... i do want to wait until the holidays are over because that's just not a good time to end things if you can help it. The whole thing is just scrambling my brain and screwing with my emotions I haven't truly excepted it yet I suppose... things don't seem real until they actually happen.

Life has been going pretty good for a while but I can feel a decline maybe it's just winter I don't really know. I've been feeling older lately and time with everything seems a tab bit shorter. Failures seem exagerated and I wonder if I can get the pieces to fit together better. Every end is a chance for a new beginning i know but I've grown accustom to things as they are for the time being but yeah they could be better.

Eh i don't know i want to just go somewhere to meditate for a while and see something different. I do feel more peaceful in life. I do feel a bit sad about things at the moment and tired.

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