blueleftshoe

My head aches a bit tonight.

I bought a card for Lisa today and mailed it I guess her birthday is on Saturday. She gave me the address to send it... there still isn't much talking going on as far as that goes I'm not sure what to think or feel about the whole thing. Like most everyone else she doesn't have the time which I understand but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I sort of feel bad though because I guess I made her feel bad because I had hurt feelings about the whole thing. Fuck I don't know this whole year thus far as just been one big cluster fuck for me and I've yet to get my head straight.
It was a Kermit and Miss Piggy card I found it pretty comical.


I know my problem I go in knowing what is what but then someone things get twisted in my head and I lose perspective on reality instead of just accepting it. Things are what they are who am I to feel different? Happiness only lies in scattered moments so why dwell on ones that have passed just move on to the next one right?

I'm giving up on the whole notion of true love or any of that jazz. Brief romantic encounters are the most I can hope for I"m just one of those types people can only like me for brief moments I'm an odd sort that's cool with me I need a lot of change anyways.

I need to get out of this office work I'm not much cut out for it all.

I'm just going to find a place to live for a while tie things up hear and set up things then I'm just moving on... this is the right time I can feel it in my heart this place has given me about all it can give me.. i've had more than enough broken hearts dissappointments and other unfortant things I would rather just forget too many bad memories I'd rather move past.

If it was a perfect world I would just continually travel I hate settling down anywhere for too long as I don't really belong there. In fact I don't really belong here I think after I move I'm gonna cancel things here.