blueleftshoe

Well I think the finally nail has been hammered into the coffin as far as things go with Lisa. It's cool it's for the better really she has too much going on with school and working all the time while I'm not having much going on but really likes to see someone if I like them. I get the idea that I just wanted more which sometimes happens so well that's one less thing to worry about.

My roommates are still getting to me they were trying to get me to agree to move a few weeks earlier since they already found a place to move to. I'm sorry but I'm not going to rush things along with paying more just to make things easier for them especially when they're not even being honest with me about things. I already know they had the place and were moving but then they make it seem as if they think the landlord might make us move early. I'm not a moron.. i've just dealt with too much crap from them really. I don't know where I'm going to live I was checking out craigslist.com there were a few postings that sounded alright. I don't want anything too longer term I just want out of here really.

Things have been straightened or seems to be with Beth. I'm not sure at times though but we agreed that if anyone started having more feelings than friendship it would get called off and we'd go back to just friends. I don't know I guess not thinking about it and just going with what is what is fine I just know I went through problems iwth someone else before because of things like that. If I wasn't an attention/affection whore I'd just drop it but it's nice to have someone to kiss and touch especially since I'm often single and dont get much of that.

Gabrielle has at least said she was sorry which is something she will often avoid instead giving countless excuses. All I want from people when they wrong me is just a simple sorry then i'm cool. I just want people to be honest and upfront with me I can deal with most things but being lied to or blown off.

I'm still in a horrible mood this week I don't know if it's the weather or if my hormones are just being wacky who knows. I try not to be like that but I can't help it. I just want people to stop assuming i'm in a bad mood or ask me what's wrong... nothing i feel like discussing and if i'm annoyed just leave it at that because I'm not going to be fun to talk to.

I'm just fucked up and confused about things. I'm a bit lonely and sort of depressed.

That sums me up to a T....... i don't talk about things with people then they just get fucked up. I don't know how to talk about emotions with people though.