blueleftshoe

I don't know about things.

Today I have to show up to work early for some secret team building activity. I'm not especially in the mood for a secret team building activity truth be told. I'm not in the mood for much but yeah I'm noticing I have to get my lazy depressed but up and start fixing things pronto I've let too many things go for too long now I'm just in a heap of shit.

I was trying to fix my wipers but I'm realizing why I didn't pick a trade that involved using my hands. I'm challenged when it comes to things that require coordination or just anything physical my mind is much better. I've figured the problem though the one bar that connects to the bar that moves the wipers came off. Yeah seems simple enough but well getting on isn't simple it doesn't just snap on and the is pretty limited I need to figure if i can take more things off to get more room to figure it all out. Personally I want to live someone where a car is not needed just for these occassions.

Finicial fuck ups keep building up because well I don't deal with things yeah my anxiety with that just keeps getting worse. I don't know I just need to fix my mind so I'm able to actually deal with crap instead of just avoid it because now it's just making a big fucking mess of everything. Sometimes I wish I had someone to really help me with that but like anyone should know you should be able to do it yourself so yeah I'll do it instead of putting it off ... fuck me.



I'm just frustrated with myself like nothing else. I know it's all in my head that's fucking me up and I just have to find a way to bulldoze through it.