Tuesday Apr 03, 2007

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I love it and it makes me feel oh so happy. Berry Pomegranate goodness in a can plus it gives me energy. I went jogging this morning so i'm feeling sort of good from that and I bought a mango. The ideas of what to do and where I'm going are running through my head. Change yes change is what I've been needing things have grown stagnate. When you get in a rut sometimes just changing little things helps sometimes it's big things but mainly it's changing the state of mind which I'm hoping this does I've just become complacant with things. I haven't been wanting to try because I forgot what the point was I've been feeling regardless of what is done I'm just going to be unhappy. Going into year I had gone through what I thought I should be doing but perhaps that was all wrong I thought trying to jump into dating was somehow a great thing. What I'm finding out is that even if you go by the book do what you should do listen to what people tell you that well it still ends up fucked up more times than naught even if that other person is someone that seems like a pretty decent person. I would still like to casually date for the time being but I'd like to get a better perspective on it and not have it be the center of things.

I'm just feeling like now is the perfect time to change things and get back up since I've gotten down the last few years after all the set backs that have been occuring. Really I'm not one to lay down or give up on things it's just not in my nature I'm not a person that can or will settle. So yeah there it is and I'm drinking my Sobe Essential energy Berry Pomegranate just enjoying the breeze in my window running a million thoughts through my head trying to keep this state of mind. Things never last as they do though I just have to deal with what is there.

I'm throwing expectations out the window and I'm not chasing after people for attention either. If someone wants to see me and be cool with me i'm all for that but if not well then it's no big deal there is always someone else who will want to.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
bodhistarr:
Man oh man. I do wish you lived near me. I have this retarded intuition saying we would get along quite well. That blog of yours is how I feel ALL of the time. Hence, me moving. Stagnent is such a good word. But, that doesn't mean its a good thing, ya know?
deny:
Energy drinks usually make me sick. I do like Sobe's tea though. Maybe I should check into that?? confused You always say something inspiring... Thank you. smile I've tried several times to tell myself that I have to do something, even if it's small... I wish people would stop saying for me to be happy the way I am... I'm not me. There is another me, one that's better, one I can remember but, cannot find. I need to do something for myself. I just don't know what yet.

I think it's best to not want a relationship because you will always be trying rather than enjoying. Know people for what they are... If it turns into a relationship then that's great. Sometimes they're not even worth your time less much the effort to be nice to them.

Do you like Death Angel?? Yeah, Old Skool. tongue biggrin


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