blueleftshoe

You know what makes you feel good when you're feeling pretty shit about your life? Yes you guessed it a friend sending you something how they got engaged It's even better when they compare to you in most avenues in life same town same age b'days a week apart and similiar upbringing. You know it's a real kick in the crotch I can't even get a relationship to last longer than a month anymore. Don't get me wrong I"m happy for friends but sometimes I really dont want to hear about how fucking great things are for others.

I have such great situations going on right about now in my life on the romance front. I have Lisa someone who I like who I think is cool but well seems to never have time to hang out with saying how much she misses me and also doesn't seem to keen on kissing anymore. Then there is Tori from a few months ago that pops up in my life from time to time that I still am a bit infatuated with but again doesn't have time for me along with being obsessed with an ex. Of course there is Beth my friend who decided that our friendship should go to a more physical level. I have to say I've gone along well because I like physical attention but I am uncomfortable with the whole thing I don't want to date her but I don't want a friendship to get messed up. Like always there is Gabrielle luckily she's cooled it on the whole lets just fuck talk finally well except when she drinks. It's just a bunch of stupid messed up shit I don't want it's reason enough to give up on dating forever besides the fact that I just want a little bit of human companionship. I've come to realize all girls are fucked up well at least when it comes to me. I have to become friends with more guys at least I dont want to worry about them coming on to me not to sound conceited. Just right now a lot seems fucked even though I'm doing my best to keep things in a good honest perspective and not too low.

I'm thinking I'm running tomorrow until I vomit.