blueleftshoe

Tonight ended up being a bit of an odd night. Gabrielle called me to come out to Kent and hang at the Zephyr which was cool. I've been trying to help her get through the whole break up thing which I don't mind doing as a friend. Everything was cool until well Tori ended up showing up which was a bit awkward for me. She actually saw me came over sat by me and chatted for a bit. Fuck really it's the first time talking to her in over a month besides online and text messages. When introducing me to her friends I didn't know the one said yeah I've heard a lot about you which sort of stuck in my brain.. umm why would she but of course that's over thinking. I just felt weird all night trying to listen Gabrielle all night but sort of looking towards Tori and her friends. Fuck I don't want to be like that I don't understand that girl one bit really I hate coming across people like that in situations I'm not ready for. Parts of me still likes her and hopes I guess she'll want to hang out again but I know that's dumb so I'll forget it. Lisa also texted me tonight which didn't help things hearing her tell me she wishes I was snoozing in bed with her but of course like always she doesn't have the time to hang out.

you know I just need one sane girl that I can hang out with and have a good time with. I just dont know anymore.

*edit

Ok this morning Tori actually messaged me while I had my away message on which I often leave up I'm a bit anti-social. Of course I'm reading more into things but at the same time trying to play it cool because I'm a fool like that. Anyways she told me it was nice seeing me last night... I don't know part of me thinks why go out of your way to say that especially when I have an away message up then the other side thinks eh she's just being nice. I don't want to over think things but I am I'm overthinking everything. I'm thinking fuck are either of these girls an option or am I just being a double fool. I'm dumbfounded completely flabbergasted at a lost for fucking words it's fun. Then I wonder if you know the real answer was someone else who seemed really cool but seemed less of an option just because of differences... fuck if I know. I should of went for a bike ride but instead I spent the morning chatting with Tori a bit and thinking way too much.

I am happy though at least I have something to think about.