blueleftshoe

I still feel like I haven't gotten away from this black cloud that continues to hoover over me I don't know that I would ever be able to rid myself of it. It speaks to me telling what to say and how to feel about everything... it tells me to drink until sleep comes about easier... it tells me to consume as much caffeine as possible before my heart explodes so I won't feel so mopey. The biggest trick with depression is not letting on to others how depressed you actually are because they never have anything worthwhile to tell you... people think it's just a state of mind or a way of looking at things. Sometimes I feel the things inside are slowly killing me.

I'm waiting to hear if I'm hired in... I hate having to wait on things. I don't even want to work there that much but it will be more money which is always needed. I don't even want to hear about anything else I just want to block the outside world out I don't like it anymore well not at this moment perhaps Tuesday I will not that tuesday holds any meaning.