bluefreak

i went for a long walk today and it didnt help much but i did get a new cat. it was stuck under a branch down by the lake near my house and i got it out and the damn cat followed me home and well i just had to keep the little guy. i named him scooter..why i havent a clue but thats his...
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what could be better then a thunderstorm and a sad song to listen to? this song is by far one of the best i have heard in a long time and it made me cry too the first time i heard it but thats probly cuz it is a GORGEOUS song and it has alot to deal with my current situation.

My Immortal by Evanescence...
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they say life sucks and then you die well i tell you my life sucks. i didnt think it would suck this much but it does. i hate to write but unfortunatly when your upset it comes soooo easily.

Suffer

another day inside my world locked away in the shadows. alone, forever alone with just my thoughts. my family never notices my pain all they...
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damn i was stupid lastnight *L*. i was babysitting and the kids i was watching were asleep the whole time so i figured id go raid the fridge and i found a case of bracadi silvers and 2 cases of tripple blacks . how could i say no? *LOL* so i was fucked up lastnight and then i went home and i was sooooo wasted...
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yet again im depressed and nothing helps im smokeing too much and if nothing gets any better m gonna just fuck off for awhile . i did talk to a friend the other night and that was nice but then things went to shit again and i went right back o being depressed and pissed off....i dont think my heart can take this much stress...
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mommy make the thingy stop ringing.
god damn i hate it when people call me all hours of the day and night its giving me sleep deprevation .
and they have to call me about stupid things too i mean god i dont know why your ex is being an ass my only guess is its cuz he is a man and men just suck...
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*sighs* it hasnt been a very good week . i fractured my knuckles again and my family is driving me absolutly insane and now im stuck babysitting tonight and i really dont want to but i have to. thank god i went to the hardware store today and stocked up on duct tape so if thoses kid make me crazy they are getting their asses...
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ok so yeah fratured knuckles really hurt but ill live i think. i absolutly hate this fucking hot weather and its not even summer yet...thank god noone is home and i can walk around the house ins a skimpy shirt and boxers without my stepdad perving out and stareing *cringes* i mean ewwww a 45 year old man stareing and getting a woody YUCK .....
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oh i love fighting with ppl i really do. fucking ppl need to just leave me the fuck alone at home and at work. i mean jebus if i look like im about to hit you and the slit your throat then back off and let me be. maybe i should just take off for awhile and say fuck you to everyone. nah ill just...
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ok seriously what is with all my friends wanting to die lately? i mean come on life isnt that bad wher you have to end it all...life is full of alot of fun shit like me *L* but seriously a suggestion to all you ppl that read this ...death sucks dont do it it looks like the only solution at the time but try talking...
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