CHEESEBURGER...........
I ordered a cheeseburger yesterday, I had never eaten at this paticular restaurant before, and whenever Iam unsure about the food at a place, I always order a cheeseburger.
How many ways can you fuck up something as simple as a cheeseburger?
The bread can be to hard, or the meat might not be cooked to my likeing, but that can be fixed quite easily.
After I ordered my cheeseburger, the waiter asked me, "Do you want a plain cheesebuager or one of our specialties?"
Specialtie? What the fuck. A cheeseburger is a piece hamburger meat with some cheese on top of it serived on a hamburger bun.
A pork chop is a pork chop and a cheeseburger is a cheeseburger.
I asked the waiter to elaborate.
"We have a Cajun cheeseburger," he began, "with spices and cooked onions, we have a Chili cheeseburger, and you can also have gazpacho on that."
"We have a Swiss cheeseburger, a Monterey Jack cheeseburger, a diet cheeseburger, with just meat and cottage cheese on the side. And we have a mushroom cheeseburger."
I was astounded.
I said to the waiter, "I'm not sure in which book it appears, but I know that somewhere in the bible it says, 'Thou shalt not put mushrooms on cheeseburgers.
It's just not the right thing to do.
If I had wanted Cajun food, I would have ordered red beans and rice. If I wanted chili I would have ordered chili. And gazapacito looks like pond scum.
I hate Swiss cheese, Monterey Jack sounds like a California beach bum, and at 6 foot 2, and 185 pounds I'am certainly not on a diet, and I wouldn't eat fucking cottage cheese even if I were.
So why do we do this sort of thing? Why do we take something as simple as the cheeseburger and fuck with it?
I think we should have kept telephones black. I still see no need for mens designer undershorts.
Who decided to take numbers off of watches? Who decided to make shower knobs so complicated?
Why do we say brunch instead of late breakfast or early lunch?
Didn't Corn flakes, Wheaties, Rice Krispies and Cheerios give us enough of a choice of cereals?
Who changed "Light" to "Lite." Why do potato chips come in a can? And why must we have pats of butter in those individual little packages that are so fucking hard to open?
Who said it was ok for Lawyers to do television commercials?
I told the waiter I wanted a plain, as god intended cheeseburger and coke.
"Classic, I assume," said the waiter.
"In a six-ounce bottle," I said
I ordered a cheeseburger yesterday, I had never eaten at this paticular restaurant before, and whenever Iam unsure about the food at a place, I always order a cheeseburger.
How many ways can you fuck up something as simple as a cheeseburger?
The bread can be to hard, or the meat might not be cooked to my likeing, but that can be fixed quite easily.
After I ordered my cheeseburger, the waiter asked me, "Do you want a plain cheesebuager or one of our specialties?"
Specialtie? What the fuck. A cheeseburger is a piece hamburger meat with some cheese on top of it serived on a hamburger bun.
A pork chop is a pork chop and a cheeseburger is a cheeseburger.
I asked the waiter to elaborate.
"We have a Cajun cheeseburger," he began, "with spices and cooked onions, we have a Chili cheeseburger, and you can also have gazpacho on that."
"We have a Swiss cheeseburger, a Monterey Jack cheeseburger, a diet cheeseburger, with just meat and cottage cheese on the side. And we have a mushroom cheeseburger."
I was astounded.
I said to the waiter, "I'm not sure in which book it appears, but I know that somewhere in the bible it says, 'Thou shalt not put mushrooms on cheeseburgers.
It's just not the right thing to do.
If I had wanted Cajun food, I would have ordered red beans and rice. If I wanted chili I would have ordered chili. And gazapacito looks like pond scum.
I hate Swiss cheese, Monterey Jack sounds like a California beach bum, and at 6 foot 2, and 185 pounds I'am certainly not on a diet, and I wouldn't eat fucking cottage cheese even if I were.
So why do we do this sort of thing? Why do we take something as simple as the cheeseburger and fuck with it?
I think we should have kept telephones black. I still see no need for mens designer undershorts.
Who decided to take numbers off of watches? Who decided to make shower knobs so complicated?
Why do we say brunch instead of late breakfast or early lunch?
Didn't Corn flakes, Wheaties, Rice Krispies and Cheerios give us enough of a choice of cereals?
Who changed "Light" to "Lite." Why do potato chips come in a can? And why must we have pats of butter in those individual little packages that are so fucking hard to open?
Who said it was ok for Lawyers to do television commercials?
I told the waiter I wanted a plain, as god intended cheeseburger and coke.
"Classic, I assume," said the waiter.
"In a six-ounce bottle," I said