blueadara

went out again last night... of course, as it has become ritual these last few months... and pat on the back, i only had one drink! usually i am stumbling around drunk by the end of the night... drowning sorrows and all that... makers mark on the rocks is my best friend!!!!! i usually don't know anyone when i do go out, but i go to dance. somehow drinking my bourbon and dancing for a few hours keeps me going for a little while, until i need another fix of it.

i was unusually jovial last night. partially,i think, due to the fact that i saw someone there that normally flusters me... but this time it had very little effect on me. i love that!! i don't know what i was thinking in the first place??? oh well... what can you do?

i have to go to palm springs this weekend to see some of my family who i dislike... yuck... i am SO not looking forward to the sun beating down on my head causing the wax from my dreads to trickle down my face. boy, will i stick out like a sore thumb there. sorry, i don't own any pastel summer outfits and american flag bikinis. but, i will suffer the tragities of old retired lounge singers and their boob job, face lift, golddigging girlfriends... all because my 7 year old half sister wants me to come to her birthday party. (yes, my biological father is 58, and his newest trophy wife is close to my age... ewww!) can you tell i am bitter? but my sister doesn't yet know the hell in which she is living...

boring, mundane details of my existance... more to come... ha