A few of you have asked why I'm always so lonely, well I think it's about time I told you about myself.
It all goes back to the summer of 1974, August 16th 1974. Lunchtime to be exact. I'm ten years old, a nice kid, a little bit quiet, the teachers say I'm pretty clever. No brothers or sisters, just me mum and dad, the perfect happy little family. Mum's the perfect mum, loving, always cooking and cleaning. Dad, well he's more like a big brother, likes the same things as me football, cartoons and comic books! Anyway this particular day I'm in the front room watching TV, probably some rubbish 1970's sci-fi show, mums in the kitchen making me some lunch. Then I see my dad's car pull up in the drive, cool, he's come home in his lunch hour, now we can watch TV together for a while! After about five minutes of waiting there's no sign of dad so I send mum out to see what's keeping him, that explains why he didn't come straight in, he's dead! Massive heart attack, no goodbyes, no comforting last words, alive one minute then dead the next! So how is ten year old Richard going to cope with this? Easy, turn off my emotions if you're never happy you can't feel sad. But that's not all, if you build a barricade around yourself and never let anyone get close it won't hurt if somebody else dies or leaves you!
So that's how I lived my life, never letting anyone get close to me and if they did pushing them away. The trouble is if you live a certain way long enough, then that starts to seem normal. I tried to open up to people but was always too scared!
That's me terrified of being alone and too scared to do anything about it. Now you can see why I hate myself so much, because the lonely pathetic life I live is all my own creation!
But I am starting to open up to you my friends. I've met wonderful people on here, the sort of people I've always wanted to meet Artists, photographers, Musicians, Models and even a Witch! My only regret is that I will never meet any of you great people.
So love me or loathe me that's who I am!
I promise my next blog will be fun filled, lots of naked pin-ups and a quiz with prizes!
It all goes back to the summer of 1974, August 16th 1974. Lunchtime to be exact. I'm ten years old, a nice kid, a little bit quiet, the teachers say I'm pretty clever. No brothers or sisters, just me mum and dad, the perfect happy little family. Mum's the perfect mum, loving, always cooking and cleaning. Dad, well he's more like a big brother, likes the same things as me football, cartoons and comic books! Anyway this particular day I'm in the front room watching TV, probably some rubbish 1970's sci-fi show, mums in the kitchen making me some lunch. Then I see my dad's car pull up in the drive, cool, he's come home in his lunch hour, now we can watch TV together for a while! After about five minutes of waiting there's no sign of dad so I send mum out to see what's keeping him, that explains why he didn't come straight in, he's dead! Massive heart attack, no goodbyes, no comforting last words, alive one minute then dead the next! So how is ten year old Richard going to cope with this? Easy, turn off my emotions if you're never happy you can't feel sad. But that's not all, if you build a barricade around yourself and never let anyone get close it won't hurt if somebody else dies or leaves you!
So that's how I lived my life, never letting anyone get close to me and if they did pushing them away. The trouble is if you live a certain way long enough, then that starts to seem normal. I tried to open up to people but was always too scared!
That's me terrified of being alone and too scared to do anything about it. Now you can see why I hate myself so much, because the lonely pathetic life I live is all my own creation!
But I am starting to open up to you my friends. I've met wonderful people on here, the sort of people I've always wanted to meet Artists, photographers, Musicians, Models and even a Witch! My only regret is that I will never meet any of you great people.
So love me or loathe me that's who I am!
I promise my next blog will be fun filled, lots of naked pin-ups and a quiz with prizes!
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you ok