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blu2

Member Since 2008

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Saturday Jun 13, 2009

Jun 13, 2009
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DOMINATION & SUBMISSION AS IT RELATES TO SOCIAL NORMS & GENDER ROLES

As some of you may know, gender roles and sexual preferences are not binary, neither are dominant and submissive roles. I have found that bdsm is most interesting in that the roles we play, or the lives we live and act out are somehow reflective of the social norms that society has constructed for the sexes.

At this time in my life, i am not only finding it a challenge to meet women let alone dominant women who cant break the idea or preconceived gender roles without being taken back by the idea.

Would you, male or female, sub or domme be willing to share your opinion and or experiences regarding the discovery of your own identity as it relates to submission or domination, as I feel it would provide some insight into others and their introduction and discovery of a new way of looking at gender roles and identity.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
elkah:
The sub/dom relationship is a difficult one to navigate solo, let alone with a partner. Partly making things this tricky is ones change in preference over time. Yes, from sub to dom or vice versa, but I'm speaking more about the changing preferences in intensity. For instance, someone who likes being punched but eventually finds that having that done is too much (whatever that means for them) and doesn't want it done anymore, but they still want to be slapped.

I've found out a lot about myself acting out both sub and dom roles. Really, it's taught me as much about who I am and what I need outside of the bedroom as inside of it. As much as society tends to separate the two, they really are one and the same.

Right now, my problem is finding a man who's able to access his vulnerability in bed. Women are taught to show vulnerability, but it's often false and often not an emotional vulnerability but a display of weakness and submission. Society mixes up these two so often that men don't seem to understand that there's a difference between them.
Jul 2, 2009
ari:
Beautiful post.

=)
Oct 16, 2009

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