blottobox

i observed a young women dying this evening. in the ER. no family. just an ER doc, a PA, several nurses, an EKG tech., a unit clerk, and myself. this makes four people i have been in the presence of during their death since i began med school. it was unnatural. no family. it has truely skewed my sense of mortality. i feel haunted tonight....
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she held, i pushed.
she kissed, i winced.
her whispered words fell perfunctorily on my sullen ears.
my blinked gazes were blind.
frozen tactility has never felt so numb.

learning a new language is great, i encourage everyone to learn at least one other language.


i know everything i ever want to know about cellular membranes.

ergh i'm very fatigued. lability reigns throughout the hospital tonight.

an afternoon nap is steadily become essential to the quality of my daily life. my days are shit without them.

my favorite thought this week, one which i haven't thought about in a long time is that enthalpy or delta H - TabsoluteDeltaS entropy = deltaG free energy. i love thinking about this in philisophical and biological terms; especially since i've been driving longer distances than usual. i know very very little about thermodynamics and i will probably further prove my ignorance of t.d. by...
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she kissed, i winced.

fantastic extended weekend:

spent in ashevile. tony conrad workshop on thursday. tony conrad show on friday night followed mark holser's (negativeland) film presentation, where i sat behind conrad. saturday, a pauline oliveros workshop, later on that night she performed. sunday, spent with my friend in asheville, even a nap in the afternoon. fucking brilliant.

recent ascertainments include the following:
1.) drinking on your balcony + traffic passing by/ mice parade + an iBook = a fucking brilliant evening
2.) the australians make the best comtemporary wine by leaps and bounds, it is like nector from heaven. the dutch and czech republic imho make fantastic beer.
3.) medical school requires conformity initiallly, however applaude individuality overall.
4.) george bush is...
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i onced made love to a stranger after only speaking 12 words to her.