blottobox

i observed a young women dying this evening. in the ER. no family. just an ER doc, a PA, several nurses, an EKG tech., a unit clerk, and myself. this makes four people i have been in the presence of during their death since i began med school. it was unnatural. no family. it has truely skewed my sense of mortality. i feel haunted tonight.

ergh god i am sick sick sick! i am sick of the site of this place. people i like, don't like me. people that like me, i don't like.


i am just smitten over this kitten at school. i have deduced she is an undergraduate. she possess youth, and is dripping of style. it has been really cold in days of recent. cold enough to see evidence of your own breath. i watched her breathe. it presented as real humanity in her. it was incredible. like watching an angel weep, or god bleed. it retired all things supernatural about her. it's amazing i've observed a million people employ the same activities she does in just one second, and it is like observing it for the first time. catching fading indiscriminant glimpses turns into true captivation. she has penetrated my slumbered dreams as well. i am not bothered by that, i am actually really comforted. i don't know her name and i don't want to.