Landed in Arizona, thank you Ish and Eric for bringing me here and thank you Bubbs and mexi and Panda and Anti for making my new home bearable.
I've had a lot of time to think and i think there are many things I am doing wrong still. I have no intention of depending on anyone for anything other than friendship. I have to be able to do for myself. It's about the sort of pride taht I should have. The self awareness and assurance that I can and will do whatever I put my mind to and i will do it on my own with minimal help from anyone. I can't get over how dependent I have let myself become. I was so much more independent even 4 years ago. I'm sickened by the steps backward I have taken in the past year or so. This is going to stop, I am too old and too smart to let my life go to shit because I want to have fun. Fun is all relative anyway, it's part of the world and always will be there, it's not about not having it, it's about recognizing the need for it to be in moderation as with so many other things. gonna keep on trekkin and make sure that I get goin, because the goin got tough and now I have to get the fuck on with life.
I've had a lot of time to think and i think there are many things I am doing wrong still. I have no intention of depending on anyone for anything other than friendship. I have to be able to do for myself. It's about the sort of pride taht I should have. The self awareness and assurance that I can and will do whatever I put my mind to and i will do it on my own with minimal help from anyone. I can't get over how dependent I have let myself become. I was so much more independent even 4 years ago. I'm sickened by the steps backward I have taken in the past year or so. This is going to stop, I am too old and too smart to let my life go to shit because I want to have fun. Fun is all relative anyway, it's part of the world and always will be there, it's not about not having it, it's about recognizing the need for it to be in moderation as with so many other things. gonna keep on trekkin and make sure that I get goin, because the goin got tough and now I have to get the fuck on with life.
Finding a balance is what it's all about.
I know that feeling, and although I have to miss out on a lot of "fun", I still manage to have plenty and keep my independence
(My struggle though seems to sometimes be being too independent, which can be a bit lonely to be honest).