blossy

Dear SG,

There is something I think everyone should know about me.

I'm a fat kid, now before anyone tells me something like "you are not fat" I beg to differ. I truly am. I don't use "fat" in a self loathing way I use it in an empowering way; kind of "taking back" the word "fat". To anyone who would call me fat and say it in a perjorative manner, I don't care. Say what you want about me (everyone has a right to an opinion, even those which differ from mine), I am fucking beautiful. I don't say this simply because other people have told me that I am beautiful I say this because I know I am. I have hips and an ass that doesn't quit, I've got muscles that support my fat very well; but that just means I have a little more shape and a little less jiggle, it doesn't mean that I am not fat. I've recently lost about 85 pounds however this is not some residual "oh I used to be fat but now I am not" feeling. I am still a big woman. I am proud of who I am and I am proud of how I look. I look in the mirror and I see a confident, beautiful, empowered woman who I have every right to be proud of. I am narcissistic, totally and completely; I love every inch of me a little bit much and by that I mean when someone asks me what my favorite "part" of my body is I say "Me."


Let me tell you something else about me, I absolutely love women. I find women of *all* shapes and sizes to be attractive, but that bit about size is a recent development. Up until recently I've been crushing on tiny athletic little women because I wasn't happy with myself so I found women who look the way I wanted to look extremely desirable. After I really started to love the way I look I fell head over heels for a plus sized woman, not because of her personality, not because of her gorgeous smile but because of all of her. I want to hold this woman in my arms and kiss her until she goes weak in the knees, she is absolutely beautiful and lovely and amazing. I want her to have the confidence I do, I want her to know that I am not with her simply because "oh well, I'm a big girl, you're a big girl sooo you know that's how it should be." She is beautiful. That is why I want her; but until I found myself attractive I couldn't possibly have found her attractive and I know this because before...the "old" me...would have looked at her and thought "what a pretty face" and been turned off. The "old" me would *never* have given her a chance. I have to say thank you to this community for helping me along the way, and also a thank you to my lovely friends out in the real world who have helped me feel more beautiful as well.