Dear SG,
It's official this girl who I've been completely smitten with since I met her a few years ago (online) is now completely aware of how I feel about her and she feels the same way about me. I can't get her out of my head, I can't stop wanting to be around her and when I sleep I dream of her. The minute she texts me I cannot help but feel as if for that brief instant the air has been sucked from the room and my heart skips a beat while my stomach flutters. She's amazing, gorgeous, intelligent and absolutely amazing. We haven't met in person yet, but I have a feeling I will be making plans for a trip very soon. I can't wait to be near her so I can be blissfully intoxicated by her; I don't know if I would see much of Colorado while I am there, I just know that I will be seeing as much of her as I want. I've decided that I will be going to see her often as is possible; she has family here but they live about 4 hours away from me and she only lives about 6-8 hours away so honestly it just seems smarter to go see her rather than have her come to Kansas and then have us try to find time to see each other while she is visiting her family. I've posted about other girls and while I do like each one of them it's always been with that one caveat if she were ever to be into me I would drop them...well that and I've always seemed to find something wrong with them. This girl...nothing wrong. She is gorgeous, and absolutely fucking amazing; but I've always gone for smaller women and she is a beautiful plus-sized lady, I've always felt sizist in that yes; I find plus-sized women gorgeous but I've never been truly attracted to many of the plus-sized women I've met; I was smitten with her the minute I saw her. It helps that a lot of the bi-sexual and lesbian ladies here who are larger are also super-butch and she is not; I love my girly-girls and she is a girly-girl. From the tippy top of her gorgeous head down.
I know, my writing this while being married to a man with whom I am truly in love; sounds odd and part of my hang ups about other women definitely ties into that part of my life as well; but with her it's different. Every woman I've been with has known that I am married and has tried to not have a problem with it but in the end it is what ends up being the big issue for them. She's known and really truly doesn't have a problem with it. We've discussed my issues with other women at length and she's always said that it shouldn't be that big a deal that I am married. She's never said it's not going to be an issue and I think that's the best part. She doesn't mention it and treat it as if it's the 600lbs gorilla in the room, which the others always did. Anyway, that's my update for now.
<3
Blossom
It's official this girl who I've been completely smitten with since I met her a few years ago (online) is now completely aware of how I feel about her and she feels the same way about me. I can't get her out of my head, I can't stop wanting to be around her and when I sleep I dream of her. The minute she texts me I cannot help but feel as if for that brief instant the air has been sucked from the room and my heart skips a beat while my stomach flutters. She's amazing, gorgeous, intelligent and absolutely amazing. We haven't met in person yet, but I have a feeling I will be making plans for a trip very soon. I can't wait to be near her so I can be blissfully intoxicated by her; I don't know if I would see much of Colorado while I am there, I just know that I will be seeing as much of her as I want. I've decided that I will be going to see her often as is possible; she has family here but they live about 4 hours away from me and she only lives about 6-8 hours away so honestly it just seems smarter to go see her rather than have her come to Kansas and then have us try to find time to see each other while she is visiting her family. I've posted about other girls and while I do like each one of them it's always been with that one caveat if she were ever to be into me I would drop them...well that and I've always seemed to find something wrong with them. This girl...nothing wrong. She is gorgeous, and absolutely fucking amazing; but I've always gone for smaller women and she is a beautiful plus-sized lady, I've always felt sizist in that yes; I find plus-sized women gorgeous but I've never been truly attracted to many of the plus-sized women I've met; I was smitten with her the minute I saw her. It helps that a lot of the bi-sexual and lesbian ladies here who are larger are also super-butch and she is not; I love my girly-girls and she is a girly-girl. From the tippy top of her gorgeous head down.
I know, my writing this while being married to a man with whom I am truly in love; sounds odd and part of my hang ups about other women definitely ties into that part of my life as well; but with her it's different. Every woman I've been with has known that I am married and has tried to not have a problem with it but in the end it is what ends up being the big issue for them. She's known and really truly doesn't have a problem with it. We've discussed my issues with other women at length and she's always said that it shouldn't be that big a deal that I am married. She's never said it's not going to be an issue and I think that's the best part. She doesn't mention it and treat it as if it's the 600lbs gorilla in the room, which the others always did. Anyway, that's my update for now.
<3
Blossom
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
dpgc44:
Damn it! ok nevermind then..lol You can send me a picture so I can see what the lovers look like..lol
tnicole29:
Thanks hun. Yeah i've been going through a ton of shit lately. I guess thats what happens when you don't go to the doctor for 4 1/2 years. I'm going to start training for a marathon. I'm excited it's something i really just want to accomplish. I know there are people that i know that are like oh you're gonna lose a lot of weight and i could care less either way i like the way i am. People don't seem to realize that you can like being chubby.. My boyfriend is amazing because he stands by me no matter what. He's really been amazing through what i've been going through and i couldn't do it without him. I just made him sign up for health insurance because he hasn't been to a real doctor in longer than i have been. but yeah it's been rough lately but it'll be okay. it's just going to be different. 