blossy

So hoooooraaaaaayyyyyy DRAMA!!!
Yesterday a friend of mine accused me of flirting with her and when I answered honestly and told her if it felt as if I was flirting with her it wasn't intentional on my part and I am not attracted to her and that I treat her the same way I treat all of my friends she wouldn't let it go and kept insisting that I am attracted to her and I am hitting on her, but only when her "boyfriend" (not full f to m trans who identifies as "androgynous") is not around, because I act differently around her when he is around. The thing is her "boyfriend" and I used to have a thing and he freaked out when after we decided to just be friends I treated him like I treat all of my friends and stopped talking with me. So it is awkward when he is around because I am afraid that if I am just myself I will freak him out and he will stop talking with me again which will make my friendship with his girlfriend weird. So, I explain this to her and she insists again that I am hitting on her and that I should just be myself and that will make it all OK. I just got so angry I started crying, she's pretty but I am really not into her at all and it really hurts to hear that her "boyfriend" makes comments around our other friends when I am not around like "great now Emily can hit on Ana" right before I enter the room or whatever. It also made me cry because she couldn't say it in person she had this conversation with me over texts and was all "I really don't appreciate it" and "I am in a relationship" *after* I told her I was not interested in her in that way. I HATE it when people marginalize me and turn my "no" into a "yes" because they are being influenced by my sexual identity. For future reference, I hate the term "bisexual" however I am definitely into girls and dudes and I do have an open marriage. Obviously to her this means that I disregard that other people might have an exclusive relationship and I am a big old slutbag who just can't help but hit on people who I don't even find sexually attractive.

I am fairly sure she and her boyfriend have decided that because I could say to her face "that is a gorgeous picture of you" that I am hitting on her, uhh no it was a gorgeous picture of her and I was being honest that was *not* me hitting on her. I tell all my friends they look gorgeous or whatever when they really do so yeah I don't get it. Her boyfriend not being in the room is not my fault, he was at class when she showed the Pride Prom pictures to myself and a friend of ours at her apartment. I would have said that right in front of him, the fact that he was absent does not mean I was saying it only because he was not there and I would not have said it right in front of him. That's what gets me, I've said she looks pretty, gorgeous, whatever, right in front of her boyfriend before I don't get it.

Here's the thing, all of this stems from the fact that I make jewelry, nothing fancy, but I can string a pretty bead pattern fairly well and when she asked me the other day if I could make her an anklet and make it colorful, I figured rather than make something she wouldn't wear often I would make her an anklet out of her favorite colours, it doesn't take much time and rather than forget about it and never get it done for her I made it the other night and I texted her about having gotten it done yesterday and that's when she sends me this flood of texts about how I am hitting on her. She said she would pay for it and I didn't mention the price in the text because I didn't want it to sound as if I only made it because she had offered to pay. I have every intention of charging her like 20.00 for this anklet; I use sterling silver findings and beads and Swarovski crystals, technically I should be charging about 20.00 to cover my costs even but I figured I'd cut her a deal since she is a friend.


I am just so frustrated with this whole situation. She's pretty but I'm just not that into her, she's not my type and it's almost like I am going to have to send her a text that not only reiterates the fact that I have already said, more than once, that I am not attracted to her but that I am definitely not into her sexually because she is JUST NOT MY TYPE!!!!

There is a certain lady online here, she knows who she is, who is definitely my type...gorgeous, sweet and uhhh yeah I has a big old crush on her, she just happens to live at the very ends of the earth (Australia) isn't that the way it goes -sigh-