The Linearity of Existence

I was chatting with an adversary/friend over lunch the other day, and he told me of an email he got from an old crush. He's married now, and unofficially expecting, and the note put him in a philisophical mood.

"At first I was freaked out, because I remember her being so important to me, like, I had to have her in...
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Pilot Light and Commingled [Jeans]


I lit the pilot light for the umpteenth time since summer. Weve found the water cold in the mornings, and I, groggy in my robe, must lie on the concrete slab of the basement and light the elusive and tiny bud of gas. It reminds me of another elusive and tiny bud.

Once lit, I twist a knob from pilot...
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BATTLING ANTS AND MOPS AND JUDGES

or

"OR FIND ME IN CONTEMPT AND ORDER ME TO DO IT."

I have battled ants today. I found several in a left out container for frozen orange-flavored sugar-free sorbets scooped into actual orange rinds. The ants love those things. Two ants were crushed in the initial encounter. Two others were saved and sent outside. I plan on keeping...
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LINKLATER UNBOUND

I have a vague memory of the original Bad News Bears. Lupus as hero. This is a very loving, sophisticated tribute to the simple 70's movie. Interesting head shots, transitions, camera movements (from home plate to first base on a bunt, for example.) Music is tech-ed up Bizet's Carmen (Toreador's, Love is a Rebellious Bird, etc.) Great, gentle acting by children: the black...
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Birthday Rant:

I love my wife. She was sweet and happy this morning. I hope our evening leads to spooning which leads to forking.

I have a favorite birthday story that I like to tell. I was born on my father's 33rd birthday. When I became a kid, the birthday party would honor us both. My father, a beloved tormentor, would always remind me that...
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TWO TICKETS TO THE STORY OF MY LIFE, PLEASE

My beloved Molly was standing next to me when I said this to the young black ticket seller at the cineplex. She looked up and smiled, "The 40-Year Old Virgin?"
"Yes, please."

I must say that this movie is very funny. Molly and I laughed out loud at many things in it. Sweet raunch. Stubborn morning...
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Last week I saw a bald eagle perched atop a dead tree less than a mile from my house. It stopped traffic. A bald eagle in Cleveland is, of course, unusual. My first inclination was that it was a hopeful sign for the rebirth of our rivers and streams here in the poverty capital. Then I remembered that a dozen local Marines had been slaughtered...
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Annette Remembered

Many years ago, when my love for Molly was blossoming, I wrote her a story. This literary effort coincided with a trip I was planning to meet her in Prague. She was a student, touring through Europe; I was a poverty lawyer living with my recently widowed mom.
The story went like this: an organ grinder's monkey, trained to secretly enter homes, businesses,...
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Hello My Dear:

We're building a home. True, we're moving into an old house, but we're building a home. Strange that you saw it so, on your first observation. I hereby give you all credit for seeing the potential of our home. We didn't want their crummy hottub anyway. We may not be aristocracy, but we're decent liberal lawyers who don't want to raise our...
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The Innocent Man


In my jurisdiction, those charged with felonious crimes are often arrested by municipal officers. They must, in turn, produce arrestees to a municipal court. This court has no jurisdiction over felonies, but is charged with determining if crimes committed within the city arise to the level of felony, thus requiring a "bindover" to the county common pleas court charged with handling felonies....
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