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bloomsday

Cleveland, OH

Member Since 2004

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Saturday Nov 25, 2006

Nov 24, 2006
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A DREAM, UNINTERPRETED

I am in an exam setting with a hundred or so other test takers. The exam is about to begin and people are taking their seats. My beloved Molly is also taking the test. I notice her moving from seat to seat, getting closer to where I am sitting, and she is asking me questions even though the proctor has told the crowd to begin. Her whispered questions are audible to others and I finally have to tell her, firmly, to turn around and take the test on her own.

I open the booklet to begin, and I am startled by my mother tapping me on the shoulder, whispering questions of her own into my ear. She's taking the test, too. I am curt with her, telling her to get away from me, the test has begun and talking is not allowed. As she walks away, dejected, I shake me head and say to the attractive stranger next to me, "Crazy broads..." She is unwilling to commisserate.

As I delve into the test again, a guy comes up and starts telling me some smirky anectdote that I can't comprehend. I cannot contain my anger and I scream in the silent auditorium, "Dude, shut the fuck up already!" My voice reverberates in the florescent silence.

I finally get into the rhythm of the test, and reach a question that requires the audience of test takers to watch a series of video clips on a giant video screen that I hadn't noticed before at the front of the room. The question is, "Which of the following video clips was produced using the voice talents of several members of the band, Devo?" Several clips are shown -- a Maxwell House coffee commercial, a lurid Siouxee video -- and one cartoon, drawn Ren and Stimpy style, of the band members of Devo, squat and dwarfish with big heads, wearing industrial jumpsuits and shiny red wedding cake hats. They are solving a mystery, on the run from ghosts and monsters, hiding behind trees, plotting their plan of attack.

And I think to myself, what the fuck kind of test is this, anyway?

[p.s.: I woke up with a hard on]

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