bloodyhammer

So... earlier this evening I was in the bathroom rubbing one out. Usually I can be as quiet as church mouse (I've got this down to a science) but, since no one was home I think I let out a few moans n groans. Upon exiting the bathroom I see my friend calmly sitting on the couch eating some ice cream and he said: "did you think no one was home?", laughingly I might add. So, I tried to be cool about it and said: "No I heard you come in" while walking up to him and pinching his cheek. He was so mortified he got up to wash his face.

While he was in his bathroom I took one of those baby carrots out of the fridge and made a little indentation in his ice cream and told him I stuck my finger in it. The ice cream is in a bowl on table melting as we speak. He won't touch it and wants me to get him another pint.

p.s. In an unrelated story... I was watching these to obnoxious bimbo's on Howard Stern the other night while I was getting ready to enter a deep slumber (see "wacky tabacky" under "vices" in my profile) . These girls were so stupid and vapid I wanted to kick both of them in the throat. Instead they made me think of this line: "You're so pretty like a flower dying in the sun". I know it sounds like some cheesy goth shit, but I like it.

It just made me profoundly depressed to know that people like that exist and function in our society. Beautiful yes, but brain dead. I'd love to see these two 15 or 20 years from now. To see if there brains have caught up to there ageing bodies. I hope playboy does a 20 year reunion of playmates from 2005. Damn... this could have been a whole other journal entry in itself.