this is such a mix of the flood that is my brain right now
i got to see my girlfriend for the first time in a year tonight
i've played it in my head a million times how tonight might go down
i don't know what to say, i don't know what to think, i don't know what to feel
my expectations were unreasonable, i can see that now
i expected things to be the way they were a year ago
her and i are both very conflicted very confused people who both have mixed images of the other, i don't think that means we're incapable of being everything we wanted to be together.
i've waited for this for two years, i don't know why i'm suddenly becoming so impatient.
both of us have pasts that are causing us to doubt the other
i could ramble like this for hours, uncertainty bread with alcohol never give birth to anything worth expierencing.
i know this:
i love her more than i've ever loved anyone...ever
she says she loves me more than anyone
we both have so much we need to discuss and almost no time in order to do it
BLAH!!!!
love...it's a mother fucker!!!!
i feel like i'm in middle school again, we only got to hang out for like an hour. she gave me the smallest kiss before she had to leave, and gave me the gum from her mouth. just as if i were in middle school again that little kiss was the highlight of my day and 7 hours and one meal later i still have the gum.... a year ago i actually fought for a living, in a prison, and i raced cars and won drinking competitions and partied like a mother fucker, and now i've been reduced to age 13 by a 110lbs girl. she was wearing sweat pants, a hoodie, and had her hair up, but she was seriously beautiful to me, just gorgeous lol. there are people who are trying to tell her that i'm obsessed with her, and that i'm crazy. honestly i don't feel crazy, i just really feel like i love this girl. there are so many reasons for me to not be with her, countless logical reasons but no matter what i love her
am i crazy?
fuck, i probably am huh?
i'm not the crazy that people are telling her i am, I'm not quite as nutty as squirrel shit, but probably a little off lol
.....
.....
i got to see my girlfriend for the first time in a year tonight
i've played it in my head a million times how tonight might go down
i don't know what to say, i don't know what to think, i don't know what to feel
my expectations were unreasonable, i can see that now
i expected things to be the way they were a year ago
her and i are both very conflicted very confused people who both have mixed images of the other, i don't think that means we're incapable of being everything we wanted to be together.
i've waited for this for two years, i don't know why i'm suddenly becoming so impatient.
both of us have pasts that are causing us to doubt the other
i could ramble like this for hours, uncertainty bread with alcohol never give birth to anything worth expierencing.
i know this:
i love her more than i've ever loved anyone...ever
she says she loves me more than anyone
we both have so much we need to discuss and almost no time in order to do it
BLAH!!!!
love...it's a mother fucker!!!!
i feel like i'm in middle school again, we only got to hang out for like an hour. she gave me the smallest kiss before she had to leave, and gave me the gum from her mouth. just as if i were in middle school again that little kiss was the highlight of my day and 7 hours and one meal later i still have the gum.... a year ago i actually fought for a living, in a prison, and i raced cars and won drinking competitions and partied like a mother fucker, and now i've been reduced to age 13 by a 110lbs girl. she was wearing sweat pants, a hoodie, and had her hair up, but she was seriously beautiful to me, just gorgeous lol. there are people who are trying to tell her that i'm obsessed with her, and that i'm crazy. honestly i don't feel crazy, i just really feel like i love this girl. there are so many reasons for me to not be with her, countless logical reasons but no matter what i love her
am i crazy?
fuck, i probably am huh?
i'm not the crazy that people are telling her i am, I'm not quite as nutty as squirrel shit, but probably a little off lol
..........
rdpixie:
You're not crazy but a year is a long time to not see each other. Things might take a little time to get back to the way they were. Purely because you've both grown as people in the last year and there are little changes oyu guys will both have to get used to. DOn't give up just because the first time you saw each other again wasn't fireworks and explosions. *hugs*
quarie_glitter:
oh what a beautiful blog. I loved it 
you write like James Frey (and that is a compliment). I think if you love somebody you should cling onto them.
you write like James Frey (and that is a compliment). I think if you love somebody you should cling onto them.