bloodhigh

ok, there is this girl, her name is lauren
lauren and i have dated a time or two
everytime we get together its so wonderful
yet everytime she forces me away
in one way or another
i was bored tonight so i wanted to hang out with someone
so i texted her, she replied stating she was drinking and said it was cool if i came over and hung out
so we were hanging out and stuff, then we started sitting together, which led to making out, which is how her and i normally start the 'getting back together phase'
then she said she needed to go to her room for some private time
all of a sudden i could here her crying like crazy
so i went in her room and she screamed for me to get out of her room
she didn't want me to see her like the way she was
then after a little bit she said i could come in
she was covered in sweat and tears
at first i thought she was already having 2nd thoughts, or there might have been another guy so i was just about to bounce and let her deal with whatever she was having an issue with
then i saw her pick up this inhaler
its not like the inhaler you have if you have asthma
some of the kids i have at work have these inhalers
only the 'special' kids at work have them
by law we aren't allowed to know why they are 'special'
one day one of my favorite kids told me he was special because he'd never be old enough to buy beer
then i made everyone leave the room so her and i could talk
she went on and on about how she was fine
once she calmed down i asked her a bunch of questions
what she has affects her respiratory and circulatory systems
ya know, only you're lungs and you're heart, nothing important or anything
its something that runs in her family
the oldest person that had it made it to 50
the youngest 30
her doctor told her he thinks she'll break her family record
as being the youngest
then she admitted thats why she always pushes me away
she says im not 'disposable'
everytime her and i get together it gets to the point you would think we were going to get married or something
then she told me what had happened earlier was nothing, and she could feel that in about an hour and a half it would become something
then she told me i had to go home
i begged her to let me sleep on her couch
she told me the other people we were hanging with were going to be sleeping on the couches, and that i had to go home
she said, they're disposable, they don't give 2 shits about me, they'll listen to me cry and go back to sleep like im just crazy or something
they don't care, they won't try to help, they'll let me do what i have to do and won't watch me
so that is why you have to go home, they don't care
they're disposable, and you're not
so this whole time i thought she didn't care about me, or she was just using me
she's been dying the whole time
she won't let me stay
she didn't tonight, and she won't let me forever
she said she can't let me stay
then we made a deal that said if i didn't tell anyone she had to let me stay
she said thats a hard deal honey
i told her if i left i was just going to go home and cry
she told me i wasn't allowed to
ya know what though, im bigger than her and she can't stop me on this one