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bloodfart

Member Since 2004

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Monday Apr 27, 2009

Apr 27, 2009
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The story you are about to read is true. Before you reach the end you may decide I'm a bad father, a bad husband, a bad pet owner or just over all a bad human being. All of which could also be true, but lets not let those details distract us from the story itself.

The cat box:
We have three cats. Each has it's own litter box. That's three litter boxes for those of you who are mathematically challenged. Regardless of how often you are supposed to "CLEAN OUT" or collect the solid litter, I do it every three days when I remember - maybe once a week if I forget all about it. (Not really a big deal in my mind because our cats go in and outside as they please so they do their business outside like the other beasts in nature.)

The litter:
Once collected, a respectable home owner might immediately take it outside and put it in the trash can which doesn't mind the smell of animal waste. ME. . . I open the door to the garage, toss it on the garage floor where it lies dormant, waiting for Tuesday morning when I go out through the garage and put all of the discarded bags of poop and what have you on the floor into their respective trash cans. (I treat recyclables and anything with puke on it just like poop. Throw it in the garage and sort through it on Tuesday.)

The Spring:
As the earth's axis shifts, tilting the northern hemisphere towards the sun, the temperature rises, and the grass grows. At least mine does. . . Kinda. . . And to keep the neighbors and my old lady quiet, I cut it.

My Craftsman lawn mower:
I have a small yard, but I pulled out all the stops when buying my mower. Bagger, mulcher, a rubber choke thingy, levers with rabbits and turtles, and a magical handle, that when pulled, makes the mower pull you. The benefit of this is instead of PUSHING the mower up the hill, the motorized wheels pull the the mower and you simply walk behind it. (Yeah I know, I'm a Lazy Bastard)

The comedic tragedy:
Forgetting that a BIG bag of cat poop was on the garage floor I was letting my running mower drive itself into position (using the motorized lever thingy) when my mower made a sound like it was being fed a weight bench, followed by a cloud of mulched up, particulate cat shit.

Inhaling that was like smoking a pipe full of turd.

I'll probably die from having cat poop in my lungs. If I don't. . . I'll still have to do something about the smell. What do you do when everything is covered with 5 days worth of poop dust?
puke
cutejazzgirl:
You know they have medical masks at like Walgreens.

I scoppy Tank's poppy every two days but I only have one cat and time on my hands.

miao!!
Jun 17, 2009

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