Ever find yourself in one of those periods in time where you're seriously contemplating what's going on in your life and what you need? For the past year, I've dealt with everything from money issues, to frustration with hunting for my career, to questioning my spirituality, to very low self esteem, and (last but not least) dealing with still being single and hating it but not knowing what to do mainly because of my shy nature. Yeah, I have to admit, the last one is what's been REALLY bothering me for such the longest time. For a while, I've crushed, I've lusted,....hell, I've even finally found the guts to tell someone how I felt about her last year, and THAT was NOT easy at all.
Still, lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I REALLY want out of life. Working the internship, being in the drawing groups with my friends, meeting other artists, and some of the meditation exercises other friends of mine have been teaching me have been helping me start to put things into perspective. The first thing I need to work on before anything, especially before I even thknk about getting involved with anyone, even to date casually, is......myself, as a man and as an art student (Specifically digital) I admit, that though I'm out of school I still have a lot to learn. These good things that I've been involved with lately have been helping me realize that and I'm grateful. I do have a lot of development to do, especially in doing what I love the most and the thing that keeps me sane the most, making art and learning more about it. I'm feeling the more I heal and the more I develop myself in the direction I feel my life should go, the easier i believe everything should fall into place.
Now if it sounds like I have issues, well, yeah I admit, I've GOT issues. Guess what? So does everyone else!! So hopefully, no one will look at this and think I'm going crazy. Believe me, I'm fine. But I am trying to put everything into perspective and get everything back on track.