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blondie6666

Neverland

Member Since 2002

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Monday Nov 22, 2004

Nov 22, 2004
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Today's enumerations:

1. I was given a turkey from work. I have not eaten meat in 11 1/2 years. anybody want it?

2. I woke up with an itchy rash, apparently an allergic reaction, on the inside of my right elbow I recall it itching a bit when I went to bed, but no idea how/what I got into. It is till there, still itchy, but less irritated looking. Any remedy recommendations?

3.I have found the same thing happening mnay mondays now: I decide I will go out to Ceremony, get home from work, and realize i can not bear to go out, by myself, again to maybe see some people and maybe chat a little and then return home, alone to an empty bed, all the while knowing I was not going to see the one I really wanted to see.

4. Nothing like offering the olive branch, having it looked at distainfully, and shrugged off as inconcequential. I don't know why I keep letting him hurt me. I just can't understand why he decided our personalities don't mesh. They were meshing fine when I was sitting up with him 3am to 6, 7 or later, watching him cry, and helping to keep his sanity in tact. I have moved on from being mad at him. I was angry for a long time. 7 months is longer then I can hold a grudge. Now I am just sad and miss my friend.

5. Depression threatens to swallow me at every turn.

6. I have to reschedule my tattoo apointment for wednesday that I made in July. Probably my December one too. Why? It is not promarily that I shouldn't spend the money. Technically, I will have it. It is that I hvae NOONE to put the anti-bac on. I have noone I will see several times a day that I can pull my shirt up off my back and have them help me. I am normally flexible enough to put lotion on, but the skin will be tight and I don't want to fuck it up. Just another illustration of my loneliness.

7. I have nowhere to go Thanksgiving where I will feel comfortable. I have one friend who offered, but sicne I am veggie, I feel very embarassed and feel like I am putting them out to prepare specail for me. I want to try one of those Tofurky dinners, but they feed a bunch of people and I don't know anyone who would share with me. Did I mention I feel alone?

8. Wash. Rinse. repeat #5
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
trinityy:
i love you darling and i hope things get better.
i am giving you big hugs right now.
trin
xoxo
Nov 23, 2004
gardiac:
it was good to see you at the cabaret! i think i met you at the last horror party but that was some time ago and i forget everything rather quickly. damn you for living all the way up there...else we could hang out!
Nov 23, 2004

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