blindside

I've been sittin' here Tryin' to find myself
I get behind myself I need to rewind myself
Lookin' for the payback Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me

And I feel like number one Yet I'm last in line
I watch my youngest son And it helps to pass the time
I take too many pills It helps to ease the pain
I made a couple of dollar bills still I feel the same

Everybody knows my name They say it way out loud
A lot of folks fuck with me It's hard to hang out in crowds
I guess that's the price you pay To be some big shot like I am
Out strecthed hands and one night stands Still I can't find love

And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around
And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around

People don't know bout the things I say and do
They don't understand about the shit that I've been through
It's been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long

Maybe I forgot all the things I've missed
Oh somehow I know there's more to life than this
I said it too many times And I still stand firm
You get what you put in And people get what they deserve

Still I ain't seen mine No I ain't seen mine
I've been giving just ain't been gettin'
I've been walking that thin line
So I think I'll keep on walking With my head held high
I'll keep moving on and only God knows why

if so, he's not telling me.

I miss wakeboarding and/or paintball. If I had to pick one right now, it'd be wakeboarding. PErfect way to spend summer weekends. On the wayer, wind in my...well, on my head..fine spray of water kicking up, sun glistening a dazzling display of color off the water droplets. The solitude. Muscles constantly straining. In control, but only tenuously. (is that a word?) The sun, the warmth mixed with the cool water. Kicking my ass over and over trying that backflip. Feel totally exhausted at the end of the day. I love that feeling. Waking up the next day sore and happy. I wasn't great, but I was getting good.
Of course, I looked cooler wakeboarding when I had the long hair Anyone got a boat? A few good faceplants should be just the ass-kicking this body needs.

So my ex always wanted to paint our front door red. I always resisted. My reasoning to her was simple. "I see a red door and I want to paint it black"
She never got it.
I never painted it red just because she never got it. Who's the asshole now?