blindside

I just applied for my car loan - wish me luck. My credit is a bit shitty of late. Marriage was not good for my banking account. She was not as concerned about getting into uncontrollable debt as I was.
Lucky her getting to walk away from the majority of it.

Speaking of her...trying to make some semblance of peace. We'll talk today when the child swap goes down. Hatred and anger just drains me - it's too much work. If she would just drop some of the attitude...and try a little give to go with the take. Honestly, more than anything, I'd be happy with a simple accounting of the last few months of our marriage...all the lies and deceit. I just want the truth, and an apology. She hurt me, she broke my trust. How can she expect me to deal with her rationally with that hanging over my head?
Me, be the better man? Good in theory. Anger and humor are a good mask for absolute pain. Horrible, crippling emotional agony. Is an "I'm sorry" too much to ask for? And not the "I'm sorry you got upset" shit. That's the copout of apologies.
Shit, way too deep a look into the me that's me....post or delete? Post or delete?
I need to get it out, it's really killing me...sorry.
feel free to pretend this post does not exist - it's only for me, really.
Song that just came on my yahoo: Loser - 3 Doors Down
Coincidence? I hope not