blastprocessing

"If the President be connected in any suspicious manner with any person and there be grounds to believe that he will shelter him, he may be impeached."

-James Madison, Virginia Ratification Convention

Why oh why does Dr. Fucking Doom sound like a yuppie prick, anyway?

FearTheReaper stole my shtick.

Wanna know what's kinda creepy?

If you google "blastprocessing", this very page is the third result.

That's a little creepy.

Dear God,

My baseball bat and I would like to have a word with you regarding the phenomenon we assume to be created by you wherein humid weather causes an insane amount of soreness and stiffness in recently broken bones. Please contact us at your earliest convenience to schedule an appointment.

Love,
BP

Dear Whoever Wrote the Crappy-Ass End User Documentation For the Systems I Have to Troubleshoot at Work,

Here's hoping for your sake that you're attractive enough to daze me as soon as I see you, and fast enough to get away from me once I decide that I'd rather kick your teeth in for being such a moron anyway.

Love,
BP

The Faint basically won the universe tonight. The rest of you are in a six-billion-way battle for second place.

Dear The Weekend,

Don't suck.

<3,
BP

Well, at least one franchise managed to go three films without sucking. Good for you, Pirates.

I got a new bar for my tongue. Yay.