happy saturday.
i am still on dial up. i got my DSL modem but there is a snafu in my service so i am working with tech support to get it fixed, until then....
tim is gone now, back to arizona. i miss him so much. the first nights without him are the hardest. i have no idea when i will see him again and that hurts. i try so hard to remain positive. the pain in my chest tells me how much i care. everytime we say goodbye it tears into my soul. it has been an amazing couple of weeks with him, for that i am so so grateful. he is grey on here but will return soon which is good. thank god (bill gates?? j/k) for the internet, it bridges the distance enough to ease the pain. now if i can just get my damn DSL working!
speaking of GOD...
my new apartment is across the street from a church, yeah, that's right, GOD watches me fuck! anyway, today there is a funeral. i watched for awhile as i drank my "mourning" coffee. interesting to me is the western philosophy on death and dying. even in the bible it says that you celebrate a death and mourn a birth.
the platinum hearse awaits out front even now, only a half a dozen cars in the lot. i am tempted to go inside and see, i am morbid that way. my mother used to be a catastrophe hound, we would chase ambulances, fire trucks, police cars. as a former nurse she found herself captivated by human tragedy. she would rush to give CPR or donate needed "on scene" blood whenever possible. i remember many of those excursions. if she were alive she would have dragged me inside already. instead i sit and observe silently from my 3rd floor study and i feel glad to be alive.
speaking of DEATH...
my friends list is getting more and more grey by the day
.
alright, i think this entry is long enough. i don't want to overwhelm anyone after my long absence. i am hoping to get my DSL running this weekend but with the way my luck has been it won't happen. i will however try to suffer through the dial up shit to respond to yous guys and girls because i miss you all so. i hope your weekend is wonderous.
i am still on dial up. i got my DSL modem but there is a snafu in my service so i am working with tech support to get it fixed, until then....
tim is gone now, back to arizona. i miss him so much. the first nights without him are the hardest. i have no idea when i will see him again and that hurts. i try so hard to remain positive. the pain in my chest tells me how much i care. everytime we say goodbye it tears into my soul. it has been an amazing couple of weeks with him, for that i am so so grateful. he is grey on here but will return soon which is good. thank god (bill gates?? j/k) for the internet, it bridges the distance enough to ease the pain. now if i can just get my damn DSL working!
speaking of GOD...
my new apartment is across the street from a church, yeah, that's right, GOD watches me fuck! anyway, today there is a funeral. i watched for awhile as i drank my "mourning" coffee. interesting to me is the western philosophy on death and dying. even in the bible it says that you celebrate a death and mourn a birth.
the platinum hearse awaits out front even now, only a half a dozen cars in the lot. i am tempted to go inside and see, i am morbid that way. my mother used to be a catastrophe hound, we would chase ambulances, fire trucks, police cars. as a former nurse she found herself captivated by human tragedy. she would rush to give CPR or donate needed "on scene" blood whenever possible. i remember many of those excursions. if she were alive she would have dragged me inside already. instead i sit and observe silently from my 3rd floor study and i feel glad to be alive.
speaking of DEATH...
my friends list is getting more and more grey by the day
.
alright, i think this entry is long enough. i don't want to overwhelm anyone after my long absence. i am hoping to get my DSL running this weekend but with the way my luck has been it won't happen. i will however try to suffer through the dial up shit to respond to yous guys and girls because i miss you all so. i hope your weekend is wonderous.
Haven't seen you around my journal in a while...nice to hear from you...
it seems like you like this tim guy...