blasfemme

what can i say ......


HASSELHOFF...

I wish I had a day that was different from the other days. Monday, Wednesday, Friday etc., all the same to me.

wait, what? when have i not said sorry when i should have? and when did i ever wear a pretty mask or reveal a horribly disfigured underside? please tell me that you are not lumping me in that category. but anyway enough of me, sorry that someone is dissapointing you. you deserve happiness.

I don't have an goofy underside, I just pout.......I am so glad not to be every guy....and so glad to be so dumb......did I just say that...yeah being single rocks....what is coming out of my mouth....fingers...I quit.

Hey!! What happened to our morning ritual???

well, I thought I had offended you somehow cuz you never come around and say hi or anything....so I figured dramatic and extreme friend cuts might bring you and kurtz back into my fold.....and hey what is your name on soulseek????? I qam on there same name...

ummmm? Aren't you missing something in that ritual?? You must be because MY morning ritual is something like wake from sleep around 5:30 am. Go back to sleep. Hear cell phone vibrate at 6:20 or so. Check phone. Call Blasfemme back. Talk to her for almost an hour. Go back to sleep. Get up and go to work.

The time varies, sometimes..... I get to sleep until 7:30 am before the phone rings.....

hee.

wait a minute..... OH SHIT!!!..... *runs around like a monkey on fire*...... *monkey showers to put flames out*...... *dog walks monkey after monkey dons monkey clothes*..... *monkey becomes bat as he tries to escape fiery furnace only to realize that work is more akin to hell than home*.....

cell phones are doing what???

im taking my phone out of my pants pocket from now on.....wouldnt want that to blow off....
your coming up here?!? friday ive a tattoo appt. but am most certainly free afterwards, unfortunatly im heading down to the citys on saturday morning for my sisters b-day, staying the weekend to help out around my mothers house(my dad only recently got out of the hospital and is still way too weak)and coming back sunday.....what a shitter! sounds like we'll be trading places.doe-si-doe n shit. maybe sometime, since we share the same vice(jameson anyone?)we could hang out.unless your coming up friday by chance???lemme know...

Plastic Jesus


Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

{Refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

{Refrain}

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

{Refrain}

You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

{Refrain}

I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car

{Refrain}

No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar

{Refrain}

Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

When I'm goin' fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Leering from the dashboard of my van

If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
when you're not happy my skies aren't blue.
you'll never know dear how much I love you,
so I'll tell you....





and then you'll know.

so there.

Don't I know it! It may be snowing outside, but there is a holy shitstorm going on inside 610 Opperman Drive in Eagan!

I think Rad officialy traded brains with a calender.

I'm a literal kinda guy.

...this is the sound of silence.....obviously its not so silent...fucking simon and goddamn garfunkel....it all most makes me want to dislike the graduate almost...but that ann bancroft...yeah not so much....umm..oh whatever...parsley sage rosemary and thyme.......I hate that song.I wish it was silent.

shit that reminds me.. I still need to do some laundry!

just ate. but i know what you mean about working saturdays, i work the overnight shift so officially when i work sat, i work everyday of the week(i start at 11pm, off at 7am)my laundry may be caught up, but that just makes me anal about dirty clothes more than motivated.monday here we come!(mondayyougutratslapnutsshitstainfocker)

I never thought I'd say this, but I like emo....especially the artists as whiny as bright eyes

I patched it up with spackle

"PEEPS" ARE FUCKING GROSS.....
weekends are another matter...