for the last 3 years i've worked in an assisted living home "taking care "
of the elderly . .. i use the word elderly like i would woman or man... they may have general shared characteristics but are so diferent that i am still hestitant
to blanket them all in... i know my additude toward life has shifted around alot in those 3 years -not just because of work..
but i've really been unaware of the shifts -- i think i don't want things to be as impactful as they really are .. so i numb them down a bit.
I had a talk with bryn about apathy- about truely felt apathy as a tool of knowing what you can actually feel in the worst situation.. staring straight ahead
and really not being touched.... she also talked about stepping further back from the now and looking at my passions and desires as if they were a topographically laid out.
how would it look -- ?
eleanor is 100 years old and probably my favorite ... she sits at her table after finishing a meal and stares out the big windows
or just covers her eyes with her hands and shakes a "no". thats most her communication --no or yes head shakes.. her dialouge is standard :
" scratch my back " "you have nice teeth" "you've got wiskers"
one time i came into her room; she woke up, sat up in her bed and said "father!!" i almost didn't know what to say.
She's in good shape for her age . no medical problems like most people- she has perfect vision and hearing-- ( I can whisper my rude comments about some of the more annoying
residents that can't hear to her and she'll laugh. ) but she rarely communicates and her words come out slow- You can't really say she has dementia - well , its hard to
say because of the lack of understanding what she wants... i always think she is a buddha.. and really just doesnt need to talk alot -
just the essentials like "scratch my back." - I've been trying to ask her questions that would require more than a "yes" or "no" headshake..
- it takes alot of time to get anything out -- and she'll start to say somehing ,then you can see she stops in her thoughts - so she just shaks her head.
it's okay eleanor -- we really get content knowing the yes and no's- the either /or ... - i cant decide if reducing everything to a yes or no answer is gracefully intelligent-
or if we need to communicate the grey matters more thoroughly -- --of course its somewhere in between .
of the elderly . .. i use the word elderly like i would woman or man... they may have general shared characteristics but are so diferent that i am still hestitant
to blanket them all in... i know my additude toward life has shifted around alot in those 3 years -not just because of work..
but i've really been unaware of the shifts -- i think i don't want things to be as impactful as they really are .. so i numb them down a bit.
I had a talk with bryn about apathy- about truely felt apathy as a tool of knowing what you can actually feel in the worst situation.. staring straight ahead
and really not being touched.... she also talked about stepping further back from the now and looking at my passions and desires as if they were a topographically laid out.
how would it look -- ?
eleanor is 100 years old and probably my favorite ... she sits at her table after finishing a meal and stares out the big windows
or just covers her eyes with her hands and shakes a "no". thats most her communication --no or yes head shakes.. her dialouge is standard :
" scratch my back " "you have nice teeth" "you've got wiskers"
one time i came into her room; she woke up, sat up in her bed and said "father!!" i almost didn't know what to say.
She's in good shape for her age . no medical problems like most people- she has perfect vision and hearing-- ( I can whisper my rude comments about some of the more annoying
residents that can't hear to her and she'll laugh. ) but she rarely communicates and her words come out slow- You can't really say she has dementia - well , its hard to
say because of the lack of understanding what she wants... i always think she is a buddha.. and really just doesnt need to talk alot -
just the essentials like "scratch my back." - I've been trying to ask her questions that would require more than a "yes" or "no" headshake..
- it takes alot of time to get anything out -- and she'll start to say somehing ,then you can see she stops in her thoughts - so she just shaks her head.
it's okay eleanor -- we really get content knowing the yes and no's- the either /or ... - i cant decide if reducing everything to a yes or no answer is gracefully intelligent-
or if we need to communicate the grey matters more thoroughly -- --of course its somewhere in between .
i like your writing. you express your thoughts well.
when i was a little invisigirl, and a girl scout, i spent a day at an "old folks home". i will never forget the old man i had to feed. he just sat there in his chair, and i fed him like a baby, but the thing that has always stayed with me is that he said "thank you" after every single bite i fed him. a bite of food-- "thank you", bite of food--"thank you", bite of food--"thank you"....... that's gotta be bizarre, to be unable to feed yourself, and have children, so innocent and full of hope, totally unaware that this will one day be them, come and feed you. and, yet, he was apparently very appreciative, maybe even apologetic. man, it's horrible to think that he felt any need to apologize for needing to be fed.
on a lighter note, and still relating to your story, i babysat my little nephew when he was only um, i don't know, one year old, or something--not old enough to talk yet, but old enough to understand some things. i didn't have a clue what he wanted or needed, and the amazing thing is that we were able to communicate through just "yes" or "no" questions. he couldn't tell me what he wanted, but he could nod yes or no. I would ask him "more milk?" and he would nod no. I would say "more french fries?" and he would nod yes. I felt so proud, like i invented communication or something! ha