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maybe somewhere, someday, things will fall into place. there always seems to be a glimmer of promiss that all the blanks will be filled, colored in. a lifetime of promisses that following the rules will get your ahead, cooperation is the key to rocketing forward. I've found that going beyond cooperation gets you ahead, but turning your back on a high status only to further your original reversed intent will only lead to a downfall so fast that you can barely understand that it just happened to you. In our thoughts we're rarely hit, and it we are, it isn't hard enough to phase us. In our dreams though, we're often the victims who jsut can't seem to win, reversed roles. Is winning thats important? Is winning everything? We're raised to say that it isn't, but is that so true? Undeniably you must lose some battles to win a war, or at least come out even. Is being on top so great? Without an opponent, what esle is there. Maybe for someone like me, whose life seems to revolve entirely around competition, success is like the onyl other extreme feeling I know, love. Love was the greatest, and worst feeling I've ever known. Great becuase I finally felt so sure and so strongly about something, and the worst becuase Iknew that the other person didn't feel the same way, so it got trashed. Time still goes on though, and I have to keep moving around and dealing with standard human life. I still had to focus on success and getting a job and becomming soemthing great. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard either. It's taken me a long way, I'm nowhere near what I thought I would be 5 years ago. But 7 years ago, I'm right where I thought I would be. But that's what love did, gave me hope for a better life. but before I had it, I kne what was real, and I was right. Everything I predicted for myself at 14 has happened to the point of it being almsot too close for coincidence. But at 15, things changed, and now I'm being forced back into what I knew that I would be. That's been the hardest thing of all, accepting the me I knew I would be, but didn't want to be. Only one thing hasn't been fullfilled. When i was 14, I predicted contentment.