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blameshift

Member Since 2003

Followers 3 Following 6

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Monday Jul 07, 2003

Jul 7, 2003
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Hey kids...up late again...usually I wait until some shit has gone down that's worth writing about...and that's what happened tonight.
First of all, I spent most of the day with the girlfriend. I took her out to a nice place in Charleston for an early dinner, then we went to Alhambra Hall, a nice place overlooking Charleston harbor. We listened to some jazz and walked around the park just talking. It was good times. We ended back at my Aunt's house, where I introduced her to some family, then we came back to my place and just hung out, cuddled an what not. As I'm walking her out to her car when she leaves, she gets real serious, and as we're in the middle of our goodnight kiss, she looks at me like something is the matter. "What's wrong?" I ask.
She replies; time stops.
"I'm going to tell you something, and I don't want you to reply if you don't want to,"
Shit.
She continues, "I could see myself falling in love with you."
Fuck. I start to reply, but the only word to escape the grasp my conscience holds on my tongue is "Don't."
We exchange a couple more silent kisses, and she gets back in her car with the flowers I gave her still wet from the vase I had them in. I feel as if her whole drive home is going to be hazy with tears.
We talk about it later, and we come to the conclusion that the best idea is to take things slow. I don't want to rush in head first to destroying someone's life because of my damned hormones.
Enter into the equation most recent ex-girlfriend. I finally casually mention that the reason I couldn't talk earlier is that I was on the phone with my girlfriend. She doesn't like that. She starts this unreasonable barrage of jealous questions, when, in actuality, she is the one who broke up with me. She says it was because of finals, and that we could resume at the start of the next semester. She never factored in the probability that maybe, just maybe, in that three month span that we didn't see eachother, that I wouldn't meet someone new. She ends the argument by saying that she doesn't care (I love this tactic, I absolutely love it, and by love I mean hate it) and that I can do whatever I want (Yeah, I CAN do whatever I want, WE AREN'T DATING ANYMORE!). Any attempt that I made to help her see her bias of jealousy in the argument ended up as a moot point.
So there's the skinny kids...help me make sense of some of this.
In Other news, Yours Truly is still looking for friends, and though I fancy myself somewhat socialable in person, I think I might have some problems doing it online. Yes, Lexi, I'll keep doing what you tell me to do, you just keep making me look good. I realize that's a lot of work. And also, if any of you know of any SG events on the East Coast, preferrably in the Carolinas, let me know. That's about it, I'll see yall later, have a wonderful day!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
josh:
She wants what she can't have. If she got you again, she'd drop you shortly after... same story as before!

Typical.
Jul 8, 2003
leiru13:
I'm glad you handled that so well. As for the SG events, check out the hook-up boards. Try groups as well, there may be an SG carolina group. and if you join the group you can find out about events in your area. I currently belong to SG Boston, PDX and NY. I've never been to a real event, I've just gotten drunk with Josh and Stewd and some other kats. If I hear of anything, I'll let you know.
Jul 8, 2003

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