What a fuckin' shitty day! My depression has made a monster return. I don't know what brought it on, but something about work just totally dragged me down. I think it was the fact that I really don't want a career as a machinist.
My future is so bleak right now. I'm seriously thinking about not coming back from the states when I go this summer. There's nothing for me in this city.
I just want to disappear from the world. End this dreary existance I call a life. I'm really considering going into therapy. There's got to be something wrong in my head. And today I even had other people tell me that it's probably a good idea for me to do. So now I've just got to see if I have coverage for it, because I can't afford to pay for it myself.
Then to top off my already miserable and shitty day, I had to help my brother do more moving today, but I told him I had to be in Chestermere by like 7:30 to meet up with Twinkie. We loaded up my truck first to try and get a head start on it. I didn't even LEAVE his house until about 8 to drop off the stuff. Then it's a 45 minute drive from that end of the city to her place. So I wasn't done everything until 9:10, so needless to say, I didn't get to see her tonight. Which sucks, because she always makes me feel better (and not in the way most people think, we just chill out and have fun).
So now I'm tired, depressed, miserable, pissed off and lonely. Great. Somebody just fuckin' shoot me!
:: L Y R I C S ::
in the land of dirt and plaster
lies an army of a thousand nowhere kids
losing ground and falling faster
into a life that no one should have to live
we are the people that you hate
we are the bastards that you created (the fucking bastards that you created)
a generation with no place
a generation of all your sons and daughters
behind the fake family image
behind the smile of a thousand moms and dads
inside the cage that we've been given
i see an image of the future that we don't have
we are the people that you hate
we are the bastards that you created (the fucking bastards that you created)
a generation with no place
a generation of all your sons and daughters
and what did you expect ... a perfect child
raised by tv sets ... abandoned every mile
we never get respect ... never a fair trial
no one gives a shit ... as long as we smile
"Nowhere Kids"
Smile Empty Soul
too many weeds in the flowers
too many pills in the pharmacy now
too many bugs in the shower
there's too much shit in the air we breathe now
there's too much anger inside me
there's too much scarring when i bleed
there's too much therapy i need
there is no god that i have seen
there's too much doubt in my mom's words
there's too much fear in the way she sees life
i wonder if i'm just like her
i wonder if i can make myself right
you try to help
you listen well
you cannot change the way i see
"Therapy"
Smile Empty Soul
My future is so bleak right now. I'm seriously thinking about not coming back from the states when I go this summer. There's nothing for me in this city.
I just want to disappear from the world. End this dreary existance I call a life. I'm really considering going into therapy. There's got to be something wrong in my head. And today I even had other people tell me that it's probably a good idea for me to do. So now I've just got to see if I have coverage for it, because I can't afford to pay for it myself.
Then to top off my already miserable and shitty day, I had to help my brother do more moving today, but I told him I had to be in Chestermere by like 7:30 to meet up with Twinkie. We loaded up my truck first to try and get a head start on it. I didn't even LEAVE his house until about 8 to drop off the stuff. Then it's a 45 minute drive from that end of the city to her place. So I wasn't done everything until 9:10, so needless to say, I didn't get to see her tonight. Which sucks, because she always makes me feel better (and not in the way most people think, we just chill out and have fun).
So now I'm tired, depressed, miserable, pissed off and lonely. Great. Somebody just fuckin' shoot me!
:: L Y R I C S ::
in the land of dirt and plaster
lies an army of a thousand nowhere kids
losing ground and falling faster
into a life that no one should have to live
we are the people that you hate
we are the bastards that you created (the fucking bastards that you created)
a generation with no place
a generation of all your sons and daughters
behind the fake family image
behind the smile of a thousand moms and dads
inside the cage that we've been given
i see an image of the future that we don't have
we are the people that you hate
we are the bastards that you created (the fucking bastards that you created)
a generation with no place
a generation of all your sons and daughters
and what did you expect ... a perfect child
raised by tv sets ... abandoned every mile
we never get respect ... never a fair trial
no one gives a shit ... as long as we smile
"Nowhere Kids"
Smile Empty Soul
too many weeds in the flowers
too many pills in the pharmacy now
too many bugs in the shower
there's too much shit in the air we breathe now
there's too much anger inside me
there's too much scarring when i bleed
there's too much therapy i need
there is no god that i have seen
there's too much doubt in my mom's words
there's too much fear in the way she sees life
i wonder if i'm just like her
i wonder if i can make myself right
you try to help
you listen well
you cannot change the way i see
"Therapy"
Smile Empty Soul
yuriel:
*hugs ya*
