bladez

Feeling really unwanted tonight. Unwanted and depressed. Just feels like nobody wants me around right now and that if I were to make my final disappearance tomorrow, nobody would notice. I dunno, maybe I'm just a self loathing and self pitying schmuck who doesn't know what he's got till it's gone, but fuck...whatever. If I am, then so what. I don't really matter to anybody so it's no skin off my back. I've never been one to go out of my way to make people feel better, or to try and make people like me. I don't give two shits what people think of me. If it's true that nobody wants me around them, fuck 'em. I'm ready to shut myself off from the world anyways. I've got to make 1 social appearance in the next few days (disregarding work, but that's not exactly social) and even that I'm not to thrilled about. But after that, I can disappear from the social scene and climb back under my rock. Back into the comfort of darkness, where nobody will notice me, and I won't be a bother to anybody. Where I can be forgotten by all who knew me. People can begin a new life without me. Begin new friendships and relationships. Don't be surprised if I'm not around for the next little while. Maybe when people want me to be a part of their lives again I'll return, rather than being "that loser I met online"....fuck your pity. You never knew me....I never existed.