blackrosemd1

Ya know....I sit here waiting, just like I do every night, for you to come. I know you won't, even though you say you will, but still I hope. I expected myself to be this naive when I was 14 or 15, but at 26 it's kind of getting old. This is as much my fault as it is yours, but at least I can blame myself and feel a little better. I hate you, you know. I may not act like it, but I do. The way you have me in the palm of your hand, just because I am so anti-social that I didn't bother to make any other friends. I hate you, but I want you so bad, and you make me hate myself for that. There are times I just want to say fuck it, and leave right now, just to get away from my desire for you. There are times, every day, when I want to take you aside and tell you that I can't do this anymore. That I can't take you acting like you want to love me one minute, and the next, acting like you could care less. But I can't do it, as much as I want to, because I want you to be here in my bed. Even if for just 20 minutes. I know you don't want a relationship, I don't either, but you always act like you do. Stop. Stop holding my hand when we're together...stop kissing me like you mean it...just fucking stop. I'm so tired of trying anymore. I know I've said this before...love me, or don't...fuck me, or don't...but just tell me how you feel. Is that so fucking hard? I mean, I'm pretty much the poster boy for passive-aggressivness, but if you don't want to do this anymore, stop acting like you do. Seriously, you're fucking me up here. Please stop.