Something massive just occurred to me, a reality I never thought my mind or heart would concede. It feels quite strange, actually; I thought admitting it to myself would make me sad. I thought I'd get that feeling where the earth just drops out from under your feet and your foundation of everything around you just suddenly disappears.
Nope. No dramatics.
Just a cool feeling. Like all my insides turned to cool steam, or water. I feel soft and floating, resting. The hauntingly ironic term that comes to mind is liquefied.
And now my only regret is not that it's never going to happen again, it's that I never had the guts to make it that way before the window closed. I really suck. It's going to be really hard to start something new; it will still feel out of place, like a wrong turn, one that's going to get me lost along the way.
Ah well. Time to find a map.
*sighs*
I feel so weird.
Maybe I just need sleep, but in a strange way, I don't want to be happier about things when I wake, because I have a bad habit of translating that happiness into false hope. Nope. Just stay here, stay focussed, finish my biology assignment.
Hey, I climbed the damn pole, OK? All the way to the rafters. Without sleep or food or even Red Bull. I can fucking do anything.
Signing out, with love, kisses and cheesecake,
blackphoenix
Nope. No dramatics.
Just a cool feeling. Like all my insides turned to cool steam, or water. I feel soft and floating, resting. The hauntingly ironic term that comes to mind is liquefied.
And now my only regret is not that it's never going to happen again, it's that I never had the guts to make it that way before the window closed. I really suck. It's going to be really hard to start something new; it will still feel out of place, like a wrong turn, one that's going to get me lost along the way.
Ah well. Time to find a map.
*sighs*
I feel so weird.
Maybe I just need sleep, but in a strange way, I don't want to be happier about things when I wake, because I have a bad habit of translating that happiness into false hope. Nope. Just stay here, stay focussed, finish my biology assignment.
Hey, I climbed the damn pole, OK? All the way to the rafters. Without sleep or food or even Red Bull. I can fucking do anything.
Signing out, with love, kisses and cheesecake,
blackphoenix
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
cjwelsh:
You mean like when the ground drops out from beneath you but instead of feeling like your falling, you feel like your flying? noice. 
Guess it can't be helped huh.
Guess it can't be helped huh. 
lu_doll:
my mum lives in narrabundah dearest. sorry it's taken me so long internet is a hassle in this place.