blackjackdrac

"deaths the solution to lifes dead illusions"-D. Hakansson.

dammit i woke up.
Woke up at 9:15 tried to set my alarm for another half an hour.I wake and the clock says10:05 i have to be to work in 10 min.Not gonna happen so I call in.Better than not showing up period(I work on a boat so I have to be there on time).
Well I go back to bed.My friend shows up ready to go to work now.What the #@#2! Guess what I turned my CLOCK an 1/2 hour ahead.I'm an idiot I missed my shift,and lost a couple hundred for it.DAMMMIT!!!

Just another way this year is fucking me hardcore,raw dog,don't even give me the reach around,kick me out without a thank you sort of way.
I need a drink.
Or something to eat.I haven't had anything yet,and I think the lady nextdoor is cooking something good.*takes a big whiff* ahh thats the stuff.
Too bad I;ll get some fast food crap or a pizza at best.She should share.
This movie is whacked "Election" I think with Reese Witherspoon thang.The obessive bi-curios girl is straight up whickety whack! i like that.

In my next post I'm going to have another co-author yep Jack Daniels...
I don't know why I let him write in my late nite/early morning journals.Always writes dark,moody very self-destructive diatribes about nihilism and wanting to evaporate.
He brings out whats really in my head and heart i think.Or creates an illusion so strong I believe the drunken me is the real creature and the sober one cannot emote what the other will.
Wow,I'm actually having a real thought here...scary.