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blackink

Member Since 2007

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Saturday Jun 16, 2007

Jun 16, 2007
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ok...new post. forgive any ramblings, but i'm a little tipsy biggrin

work stuff is going well, i've progressed from 2 jobs to 4 and life has certainly been upping it's pace of late which means i have less time to sit around and think about how i'm failing at achieving my high standards and what a giant hash brown i have made of all the opportunities which lie at my feet. i now work at my local theatre, as a waitress in a medieval restaurant, with canterbury council helping organise a festival and now with maidstone council as part of their arts development team- helping make our town a wee bit more exciting, which really shouldn't be hard!!

i applied for a graduate scheme with Arcadia many months ago ( they are a massive retail chain if anyone hasn't heard of them) and i got through to the final round which at the time was quite exciting, but last week i was so nervous i almost didn't go. i'm grateful to timskin that he persuaded me to try out, just in case, and i'm now hopeful of the results which come next week. it will distract me from my path of arts management but i will still learn a great deal, and it could also take me away from my home town which right now seems a nice idea smile

you can read back on my blogs if you wish, but in short i've found it really difficult to settle back here after my travels and i seem to have permanent itchy feet for something bigger and better. i love my friends and i'm very guilty of being too loyal, but i've been getting the impression they want me to leave our town too. not necessarily in a malicious way, perhaps they see bigger prospects for me too (hell, maybe i am that annoying tongue) but in a wretchedly angsty way, it's horrid to think of everything changing. i've been to uni and back and you would have thought i could have adapted by now, but i've grown closer to people this time around and it really pulls to leave. and to know they want you to go too. how can you not feel that you did wrong somewhere?

people always say that those that matter will always be there for you. and i hope so. more though, i hope that i find will find more friends who genuinely don't want to let me go. it's hard to understand people who don't express emotions so freely. i ask too many questions. i need another drink. blackeyed

liz
xxx
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
memoorandom:
hope you get on well with the graduate scheme thingamabob.

it can be difficult to adjust back into things after you've travelled. i recently came back to the UK after a year and a half or so living in sweden, and i feel like i'm having this big crisis right now over whether to accept teh path my life has been on and the things i've done previously, or to in some way reach higher, be bolder and grab at things i previously wouldn't have attempted to. i'm sure i'll figure it all out, of course, but it's the initial readjustment and then the acceptance of just going ahead with doing what you feel is right, that can be a bit of a funk to get through.

good luck, again smile
Jun 19, 2007
memoorandom:
i totally didn't notice we have the same birthday, i don't think i've ever stumbled across someone with the same one before. . .

sorry you got turned down for the graduate scheme. did you get any decent feedback from them as to why? ah well, good luck with whatever plans you make now smile
Jun 23, 2007

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