blackguarding

On t.v. yesterday I saw an ostrich burying its head in the sand. I thought, what a stupid bird.

Then this morning I realized that's the story of my life. I haven't faced a damn thing in so long. As ridiculous as it sounds... I haven't even checked my account balance in ages, because I'm terrified to know how broke I am. I just can't get my brain to work.

Then late last night, I noticed an email from my ma. It was really long and had lots of cussing and bold faced words, so I figured I'd save it for some other time. Then another mail this morning, and I caught the words "I'm sooo sorry!" Then a message on the machine this morning, ... I'm so sorry, I was on sleeping pills, and I just went into attack mode... blah blah, I'm so sorry. Funny too, cause I dreamed last night that she was yelling about drugs. I should really look at those emails sometime... (edit... I just read it. That fucking nutcase goes so far out of her way to try and hurt me)

I really need to do my taxes and take a peek at these 400 piled up bills. (edit... Joy. Under some old bills was a note from the ex saying how she'd love me forever)

I really need to wake up and stop sleeping through life. I've pretty much decided against killing myself, but I never really decided to start living. I'm an ostrich.

Whats your favorite candy?