At 3pm I took my scooter out for a little cruise. It was a beautiful day. So sunny! So warm! Even the breeze had a hint of warmth to it!
I wanted to head over to Capitol Hill because I hear that's where all the cool kids go and talk about... about all the other kids. Yeah it's a real cool club and you're not a part of it. (Sorry, had to break out Screeching Weasel style there) But I couldn't figure out the map how to get there (what streets were under 35mph?), so I planned on a scoot over to Gas Works park instead, being that I've never been there before. Well, Leary split and 34th went to the left, and I kinda went to the right.
No worries. I'll just do an unplanned route then. Just see Seattle a bit. So then I ended up next to Hurricaine Cafe. "Ah cool!" I thought to myself. "So this is how you get here not riding a bus!"
Then I passed the Space Needle. Not just passed it, but almost rode right into it. It was amazing. I was loving my nice warm sunny drive.
Then I found myself at Pike Place Market. I rode around with the Piers on my right, and the highway to my left and lots of good smells and happy tourists! How fun and exciting!
Then I kept driving and it started to be less people, less cars, and more pot holes. Well, this isn't fun, but I can't turn around (legally anyways
) So I kept driving and driving, then it looked like I kept having to go onto ramps onto I-5 and I can't get over 40mph on my scooter!!! Help! Help!! But I kept seeing ways of not getting on the interstate and ended up on long white roads with no signs surrounded by those freight boxes you see all stacked up on boats and trains.
Then I dead ended in some deserted parking lot.
And this guy comes out with CRAZY EYES! And a CRAZY BEARD! And he's looking at me, and I'm looking at him. And I'm thinking, "Oh God! Please save me! This CRAZY man is going to come get me and noone will ever know what became of me!" But all he did was smile at me from a distance and hollar, "You need to slow down there!" And I smiled back, and like a dumbass, I admit, "Yeah... hehe I'm lost!"
LOL oh~ girls... But I thought to myself, 'If he does come after me across the parking lot with a machete he pulls out of nowhere, I can scoot off and away! He can't catch me on those legs! Vroom! Vroom! Unless he throws the machete at me... Don't think these thoughts! Just pay attention you!
Anyways, he asks, "Well, where are you headed for?"
I answer, "Ballard?"
WELL!! I thought his eyes were crazy before! They grow to like 10 times their size in amazement! "BALLARD! Well! You're deffinately not in the right spot!"
I ask, "Where am I anyways?"
He answers, "Harbor Island!"
I think to myself "OH FOR FUCKING SAKE! AN ISLAND?! WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!" But I say, "Oh, yeah! Well! There ya go!" There's a pause.... "So, How do I get back to Ballard from here?"
And he says, "Well, I just ended my shift. I'll show you halfway there, then point you in the right direction. You just take off there, and I'll be behind ya in a minute."
"Ok, thanks!" I say and take off. That's when I look up in the horizon and see the itty bitty space needle off in the distance. Oh gracious me. I am way out in the boonies! I also notice the sun has been setting and it's freaking cold! Brrr!
Well, I'm cruising down, and I come to a 4 way stop, and am about to turn right (I didn't think he was really going to follow me so quickly) when I hear a MEEP MEEP and think I honked my own horn cuz it was so weiner sounding, but nope. It's Old Crazy Beard behind me. He points me straight ahead, so I do as I'm told and head straight. And I drive and drive and drive, a good 2 miles. Then we come to a split where he turns to go left onto the interstate and he rolls down his window beside me and yells "See you in hell sucker and points a gun at me!!" AAAh Just kidding. hahahah good one.
Nah, he rolls down his window and smiles and points ahead and tells me to take a left at the 2nd light then stay on that road all the way to Ballard. Then he gives me a thumbs up and smiles really nice and big! He suddenly reminds me of Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies and feel really bad for thinking he was a psycho machete murder.
And he was right. It took me home. I parked my scooter in the garage and took of my helmet and my hair hurt. So I went to walk inside and nearly fell on the stairs from my frozen kneecaps not working.
So now, here I sit, 2 hours and 45 miles later, waiting for my husband to get home so we can go eat Indian food in Wallingford and hopefully by then my knee caps will be thawed.
I wanted to head over to Capitol Hill because I hear that's where all the cool kids go and talk about... about all the other kids. Yeah it's a real cool club and you're not a part of it. (Sorry, had to break out Screeching Weasel style there) But I couldn't figure out the map how to get there (what streets were under 35mph?), so I planned on a scoot over to Gas Works park instead, being that I've never been there before. Well, Leary split and 34th went to the left, and I kinda went to the right.
No worries. I'll just do an unplanned route then. Just see Seattle a bit. So then I ended up next to Hurricaine Cafe. "Ah cool!" I thought to myself. "So this is how you get here not riding a bus!"
Then I passed the Space Needle. Not just passed it, but almost rode right into it. It was amazing. I was loving my nice warm sunny drive.
Then I found myself at Pike Place Market. I rode around with the Piers on my right, and the highway to my left and lots of good smells and happy tourists! How fun and exciting!
Then I kept driving and it started to be less people, less cars, and more pot holes. Well, this isn't fun, but I can't turn around (legally anyways
) So I kept driving and driving, then it looked like I kept having to go onto ramps onto I-5 and I can't get over 40mph on my scooter!!! Help! Help!! But I kept seeing ways of not getting on the interstate and ended up on long white roads with no signs surrounded by those freight boxes you see all stacked up on boats and trains.
Then I dead ended in some deserted parking lot.
And this guy comes out with CRAZY EYES! And a CRAZY BEARD! And he's looking at me, and I'm looking at him. And I'm thinking, "Oh God! Please save me! This CRAZY man is going to come get me and noone will ever know what became of me!" But all he did was smile at me from a distance and hollar, "You need to slow down there!" And I smiled back, and like a dumbass, I admit, "Yeah... hehe I'm lost!"
LOL oh~ girls... But I thought to myself, 'If he does come after me across the parking lot with a machete he pulls out of nowhere, I can scoot off and away! He can't catch me on those legs! Vroom! Vroom! Unless he throws the machete at me... Don't think these thoughts! Just pay attention you!
Anyways, he asks, "Well, where are you headed for?"
I answer, "Ballard?"
WELL!! I thought his eyes were crazy before! They grow to like 10 times their size in amazement! "BALLARD! Well! You're deffinately not in the right spot!"
I ask, "Where am I anyways?"
He answers, "Harbor Island!"
I think to myself "OH FOR FUCKING SAKE! AN ISLAND?! WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!" But I say, "Oh, yeah! Well! There ya go!" There's a pause.... "So, How do I get back to Ballard from here?"
And he says, "Well, I just ended my shift. I'll show you halfway there, then point you in the right direction. You just take off there, and I'll be behind ya in a minute."
"Ok, thanks!" I say and take off. That's when I look up in the horizon and see the itty bitty space needle off in the distance. Oh gracious me. I am way out in the boonies! I also notice the sun has been setting and it's freaking cold! Brrr!
Well, I'm cruising down, and I come to a 4 way stop, and am about to turn right (I didn't think he was really going to follow me so quickly) when I hear a MEEP MEEP and think I honked my own horn cuz it was so weiner sounding, but nope. It's Old Crazy Beard behind me. He points me straight ahead, so I do as I'm told and head straight. And I drive and drive and drive, a good 2 miles. Then we come to a split where he turns to go left onto the interstate and he rolls down his window beside me and yells "See you in hell sucker and points a gun at me!!" AAAh Just kidding. hahahah good one.
Nah, he rolls down his window and smiles and points ahead and tells me to take a left at the 2nd light then stay on that road all the way to Ballard. Then he gives me a thumbs up and smiles really nice and big! He suddenly reminds me of Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies and feel really bad for thinking he was a psycho machete murder.
And he was right. It took me home. I parked my scooter in the garage and took of my helmet and my hair hurt. So I went to walk inside and nearly fell on the stairs from my frozen kneecaps not working.
So now, here I sit, 2 hours and 45 miles later, waiting for my husband to get home so we can go eat Indian food in Wallingford and hopefully by then my knee caps will be thawed.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
thelibra:
haaaaaaaaaaahahahahaahahahahahaahahaha!!! 
omega668:
boo !