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black_tar_heroin

757

Member Since 2003

Followers 106 Following 99

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Sunday Aug 28, 2005

Aug 28, 2005
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i got a girls phone number..

i call her.


she never picks up..

she calls me and i pick up fast..

i made fun of my mate Joe for running to pick up the phone..

hum...

i miss Texas...

i did too many drugs to leave the house...

but i moved home and got better...


i really love my friend Robby...

but he gets drunk and gets gay..

i have no real problem with sucking a dick...

but its pointless...

its like saying hey do you like blowjobs?

and saying HELL YEAH!

he tried to funny kiss me...

its so meaningless...

but i didnt really want to..

girls are much softer...

i am getting fairly popular in virginia...

i mean with ppl that i dont know there names..

i show up and ppl know Michael Younger...

it is odd...

i am use to ppl wanting to beat me up...


but caring?

ugh.

well we are all going to a bar...

at least i have friends...

i tried to call a girl and tell her i though she was neat..

but i got a answer machine...

so fuck it all to hell...

i paint like a bastard...

and no one loves me for it,

at least my paintings see ppl fuck....

and they watch over them while they sleep....

to bad they never murder..


i am drunk as hell...

typing and then hitting backspace...

funny huh?

not really...

i am fairly scary..

i drink more than anyone...

i am my dad, and my mom hates me for it...

hum......

all of my friends that are girls...

never call


i just have ari calling me to see if i am O.K....


and i worry she is going to give up on me....


i feel that i am a sinking ship...

you cant love something that is going down...

hum...

i am so happy with my job....

but everything else ...

i am really unhappy...

my side hurts....

my back teeth hurt from grinding them when i sleep..

we, meaning I got drunk at Cogans...

the waiter saying I get drunk like no one else...

saying its seemless...





VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
zenhell:
fantasy of "class war" ooo aaa
Aug 28, 2005
izabel:
So I'm having this crisis, cause I don't know what to do with my life, right:? And I want to do something that is mine all mine, like you have painting. So I know I have some abilities in areas, but whatever, I'm not exactly filled with purpose and vision when I do them.

So then I started thinking, maybe that one thing that I need to do with my life is so ugly, so dark, so horrible, that I'm suppressing it? I mean, I did once have a dream in which I found out what my true calling was, but the moment I woke up I forgot it.

So now I'm thinking -- maybe one day, I'll have the dream again, and I'll wake up and remember it, my calling, and it will be: ASSASSIN. Or POLITICIAN.

And I'll hate the idea, but I'll love the deed.

I like the idea that your paintings could murder. . . . maybe they could, maybe in some weird way . . . I'll think about it and let you know.
Aug 29, 2005

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